What support to people get from NHS in the UK?

[Karen21]

Hi

I am just wondering what support people in the UK get, my daughter is 24 and presently only gets to see her physiatrist in an emergency, her social worker stopped seeing her as they are short staffed, after a particularly bad faze she has been given help from Reablement, which consists of 2 visits or trips out per week for 6 weeks, this has been helpful as the lady is very understanding and helped her cope with panic in public places etc, and they work through a WRAP book together.

Would be very interested in what support others get, thank you.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Karen21

 

Welcome to the community. I'm glad you've joined us here, reached out for support.

My 29 year old daughter was very fortunate our local Mental Health Centre (attached to our hospital) had a DBT Team, albeit there was a 12 month waiting list. She completed 14 months weekly DBT last September. They also offered Schema, my daughter opted for DBT. It's been very successful for my daughter.

I'm not familiar with Reablement and WRAP, I've just googled, it's good to hear the lady is supportive working with your daughter managing her panic attacks. Has your daughter a BPD diagnosis? How's your daughter, you mention she went through a particularly bad faze, was she in crisis.

Welcome again   WDx

[Lollypop]

Hi Karen

Welcome!  I’m so heartened to hear that your daughter is getting support.

Sadly, we live in a semi rural area where access to mental health support is limited. My son27 faced walls early on (pre-dx) and was judged because of his drug use. They insisted he be clean before any talk of treatment. This set an emotional reaction in him and he didn’t seek professional help. Eventually he agreed to private treatment but he stopped after 5 weeks.

Over the years my support was FA, a counsellor for me, drugs counsellor for son (lasted until their relationship broke down), mental health assessment on the phone (son).

We’ve been out of the nhs system and it’s tough!

For what it’s worth, focussing on my core relationship and learning new skills on this forum, posting etc has allowed us to find a way to live happier, despite the problems. Son is working and living independently but close by.

I know your situation is different to mine. I just wanted to offer you encouragement and hope. I’m glad you found us.

LP

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Karen21,

My ex partner was 35 when he was diagnosed but had a great deal of support from local services.  He was under the community mental health team and on a pathway to DBT.  I think it depends which part of the country you are in as to what is available.  I'd recommend checking out what's available in the nearest big city if you are in a more rural area.  The NHS has Patient Choice, meaning if you can justify why you need specific treatment or services out of area, then you are entitled to request that.  I know mental health services are stretched but everyone is entitled to care. 

Waiting lists were the biggest pain, however when my ex was in crisis, it was all hands on deck and he even had a home based treatment team visit him at home.  This was after a section 135, so things may be different for different cases here.  It does sound a little like the Reablement you mentioned your daughter is receiving.  Have you put out feelers with the health professionals you currently deal with about next steps and if so what reception have you had?

Love and light x

[Rosie1q]

 *hi*karen
My daughter is under the care of the NHS . In my experience you have to be very supportful your self which I’m sure your are. It’s a case of being persistent with them .Depending on where you live depends on care. It’s so frustrating at times but don’t give up. When my daughter was in crisis I rang for help their attitude at that time was well if she can’t come to the phone to talk to her we can’t make a accesssment I stayed on the phone for 10 minuets then said to them well isn’t that telling you this is a huge red flag in the end two people came out to the house. She has moved three time so we have three different teams the first team they gave her a cpn which worked really well .The second said no even when we begged them.They  were not very helpful like your son she only had contact with a psychiatrist the attitude was phone crisis team guess what they were the team who at first refused to come out on the phone. Third team different town won’t give her a cpn but are more helpful she has a name of a nurse to ring to talk to she is seeing a psychologist to help with her BPD . I know we are  so lucky to have the NHS but like I said you have to fight your corner at times . I glad you are on this website it really is helpful learn as much as you can and use the tools . When you need help and your dealing with the professionals take a Deep Breath on stand your ground sending you a big hug   good luck xx

[Karen21]

Hi
Thank you to everyone for sharing their experiences of the help they receive for loved ones with BPD. My daughter has hd mental health problems from a very young age, but not diagnosed with BPD till about 18.  She has had DBT in the past but does not seem to take to it at all, she has tried group therapy and that totally didn't suit her, the best sorts of help have been on a more one to one basis, (I have paid for private counsellors in the past which have helped for a while).  She has lived independently for the last 4 years, but has not worked for 3 years, she cannot cope being around people, she does not like most people she comes into contact with.

At the moment she has just had her medication ( Risperidone) increased due to her having thoughts of harming other people, I find this so hard to deal with, and her wanting to harm herself.  Its just so sad I have never known her to be happy, she never knows what her brain is going to throw at her next, she has been paranoid for the last few months about being incontinent (this has never actually happened).

Its so sad when people say she looks well, she puts her mask of make up on every day and always looks lovely, but people just don't realise whats going on inside.

So sorry to ramble on, wishing you all well and thanks for listening xxxx

[Rosie1q]

Hi Karen 21.
Your daughter and my daughter could be sister when I read your last post they sound so alike. My daughter is 41 well presented hair and make up immaculate she is smart and well dressed. When you look at her you would never guess she is a jumble of insecurities. She hates being around strangers. They tried her in group work that didn’t work she walked out. She  is highly intelligent and takes no prisoners. She is better on a 1-2-1 treatment when she had her cpn she was so much better. She hates it when the mental health team talks down to her so prefers no nonsense  kind of support.Now when I’m getting on her nerves she will tell me to go home or not come. I wish she had some friends but that’s another story. So I know how you feel and what you are going through. You can buy a packet of Tena ladys pads if she feels worried to put on at night. Aldi sell something similar you could say to her look if your worried it’s up to you to use them or not.  My prayers are with you  xx

[Karen21]

Hi Rosie
Yes they do sound very similar, the way they make such an effort with their appearance, does your daughter ever let that go on a bad day? has she ever been hospitalised?  my daughter hates being talked down to by the mental health team, she likes to know abit about them, and she liked it when she had a CPN whom she could get to know well, but there is no money in the NHS now for that in our area.

My daughter doesn't let me go to visit her flat very often, she lives only five minutes away so it does not really matter because she comes over every day at some point, and rings me every few hours. Like your daughter if I do get to go in her flat she will tell me to leave if she does not like what I am saying.

You mention you wish she had some friends? my daughter struggles with friendships/relationships, until about a year ago she has had one boyfriend after another since she was about 14, all have mistreated her, but now she is so damaged by it all she never wants a boyfriend again.  As for friends well at the moment she has 2 male friends, one has severe BPD/ADHD has a drug problem and has been in prison, he uses her all of the time but she allows it to happen, and the other is better he is a gay guy who she seems to feel safe with, but women friends don't seem to work, she just does not really like people, and struggles to have empathy, and I don't even know if she knows how to love someone.

How does your daughter manage with friendships etc. I hope you don't mind me asking questions, it is lonely when you are trying to make sense of everything.  xxx