he almost seems to be more concerned with keeping on the good side of opposing council and the guardian ad litum.
In what way is your L concerned with staying on the GALs good side?
Whatever the guardian says seems to be law.
What is the GAL saying?
My case has been rescheduled 3 times and by the time it reaches the next date it will be at 1 yr since the first reschedule.
It sounds like the court (plus weather) has created some delays. To your knowledge, has your L agreed to any continuances based on scheduling conflicts (his or the opposing L)?
I'm to the point of questioning on getting another lawyer. I'm not sure if it's ne being over critical or just not understanding the process.
Court can move at a glacial pace, lawyers can agree to continuances (as common courtesy to each other), and our kids pay for it It's no wonder you feel the way you do.
he knows my 5 yr old is being mentally and emotionally bullied and abused by her mother
I think many Ls compartmentalize because they are privy to a lot of heartbreaking stories. They must also feel jaded, I would imagine.
My lawyer desperately tried to settle this without going to trial but when dealing wit with a BPD/narcissist there is only take and no give.
That sounds about right, even though it takes an aggravating amount of time to move the needle. It could be that your L is highly recommended because he is a good litigator. Not all of them are.
My L was a really good litigator. She also prided herself on being able to settle out of court -- that was her way of saying she had a good track record of keeping families out of court, and saving them money. It sounds like your L was trying to do the same, and now knows to what degree your ex is high-conflict.
Toward the end of my 4 year battle, my L and I became friends. She did some pro bono work for me toward the end, and confided to me that she had was going through a high-conflict divorce and custody battle herself, with another L, and that he appeared to have a PD.
Talk about purgatory
The reason I mention this is because she was a really good L, and even with her own lived experience going through the very same thing I was going through, she still walked me through mediation and attempts to settle out of court.
Not all people with PDs are high-conflict. But high-conflict people most likely have PDs.
Our Ls will only know that when they learn during our cases how high-conflict our exes are.
My L did agree to not allow any continuances, and never rescheduled without checking with me first, at my request.
My ex's L eventually withdrew, and a year or so later my L and I were back in court, and we saw ex's old L. Both Ls were very collegial and talked about other cases, and seemed to genuinely like and respect each other, something I would never have guessed. During the conversation I witnessed, they did a bit of backroom dealing trying to give and take over some scheduling issue, so I know they treat our calendars like a matter of convenience, based in part on the urgency of other cases that involve DV, substance abuse, child physical/sexual abuse, endangerment, etc. That seems to reflect how the court works, too. When my hearings were scheduled, we would show up at 9am with everyone else scheduled at the same time. And then the judge would prioritize the cases and try to work with Ls in the courtroom based on what seemed to be courtesy norms. Ls don't want to get on the bad side of judges for obvious reasons, so unless there is a compelling reason, they seem to go with the scheduling stuff proposed by judges.
I'm so sorry your D5 is suffering, Eco. And that you have to wait a whole year.
Have you let your L know you're feeling frustrated?
