Treatment ideas?

[Ruby A.]

My 20 year old son has just been diagnosed with BPD, and he and I have had an incredible rough, tumultuous last 3 years. He dropped out of college, resists therapy and is very depressed and anxious as well. I’m interested in any ideas on what kinds of treatments, if any, anyone with a BPD teen or young adult child has had success with. Thanks!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi Ruby A.

Welcome to bpdfamily

I am sorry to hear you and your son have had such a rough few years. Your son has recently been diagnosed with BPD. What kind of therapy is he currently getting?

Has your son expressed to you why he resists therapy?

Perhaps you'll find these resources helpful:

Therapy methods and inpatient / outpatient venues

Residential Treatment: Journal of 12 Month Journey

Take care

The Board Parrot

[Cynthia3]

Hi Ruby,

I too posted for the first time today.  My son is 18 and has been recently diagnosed with BPD.  We have been struggling on and off for years as well, mostly on recently.  My son is also resistant to treatment, although he has been in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist for medication since November.  Efforts at therapy in the past have been short-lived and mostly unsuccessful. I can only guess that, although he often admits that "something is wrong with (me)", participating in mental health assistance makes that truth less avoidable for him, so he combats it.

As far as treatment goes, my son has been in therapy on and off since the age of four or five. He has had many periods of doing seemingly well in between bad times.  But, the last year or two he's been almost constantly in crisis. As I said, he's now been in therapy and on medication consistently since November.  Despite that, he has been hospitalized twice since mid-March (once for 5 days, 3 weeks later for 9 days) for severely angry outbursts at home including verbalizations of suicide threats.  After his second hospitalization, that clinic was able to kind of coerce him into agreeing to an intensive outpatient program.  He's been there 6 hours each day, 5 days per week for three weeks now.  I believe they are soon downgrading him to intensive outpatient which is a bit shorter each day.

I feel for you given your son's age.  Once your child hits 18, your hands are somewhat tied unless violence or suicide threats compel a facility to admit him.  Even then, the procedure is to medicate, get him off the suicidality chart, and discharge.  I can't get him into a longer-term more intensive inpatient situation because he's 18 and won't agree to it. I've looked into seeking guardianship, which is a lengthy and expensive process but, given the fact that I am his chosen enemy, I'm not sure that would help him anyway.

I wish I could be more helpful.  I do know that, while medication can help with the severity of the moods, anger, and depression, it can't solve the problem.  Finding the right medications and dosages is an ever-changing and frustrating process. I think therapy can lead to permanent improvements but, my son is still so stuck inside his perceptions and blame, it hasn't seemed to yet.  He seems to be waiting for medications and/or someone to make his life better.

I wish you all the best for an improvement.  While your son is obviously suffering, I know how hard it is for you too.

[mom202]

I just joined myself - I have a 19 year old daughter and I share your pain and frustration.  I will be following your thread to see if there is anything to consider that I haven't already.  My daughter has been in/out therapy for 10 years and there have been times of progress but, recently, it all seems to be regression, agression and depression.  And, of course, my husband and I are the worst parents in the entire world and everything we do or try is absolutely stupid, selfish and wrong. 

So far, the best thing about this site is seeing that I am not alone and to be reminded that it is the disorder/illness causing all of this so I can't take everything personally.  Hang in there - be good to yourself and good luck!