My daughter was recently diagnosed with BPD

[mothrof3+2+2]

My daughter was recently diagnosed with BPD.  It helps to know what I am dealing with but interactions with her are very hard.  She is very unkind to me.  I am very sad and depressed.  It seems like I can't do anything right.  I have read 3 books on BPD including "How to stop walking on Eggshells".  They all have great ideas but in the moment, my emotions just get the best of me and I react to her blaming and accusations and criticism.  It hurts.  I hate it.  I have 7 children all together. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hello mothrof3+2+2

 

Welcome!

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling very sad and depressed, we all understand here what you are going through, BPD can be a tough diagnosis to have to deal with.

How was your daughter when she received her diagnosis? Do you think that she has accepted it?

You say that you have 7 children, where amongst them does your BPD daughter fit?

I can definitely understand that in the heat of the moment your emotions get the better of you, and it’s so easy to react in the wrong way and before you know it everything has just escalated. We have tools here that can help you so that you respond rather than react. Look to the right 
There you will see under TOOLS - Don’t React, Respond with S.E.T.  This might be a good starting point for you. Also, try to pause and just breathe when she starts blaming and criticising you, it might help you to respond to her better and more calmly.

Great to hear that you have already read 3 books, how amazing is that, well done you.

Keep posting and sharing, we are all here to help and support you x 

[Mutt]

Hi mothrof3+2+2,



I’d like to join Feeling Better and welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. You must feel frazzled taking care of seven kids. Are you getting help with the kids?

A pwBPD know what buttons to push and they’ll push all of them. I can understand feeling guilty nobody is perfect. You’re obviously trying to gain knowledge in BPD so that you can help both of you. Change and getting used to the tools takes time. You’re not alone.