Tonight I am so full of hatred

[In a bad way]

I was going to say tonight is a bad night but it's just more profound.
She always put her ex husband over me, to the point I had to leave the house before a certain time before he came round, they had not been together for ten years but he was there every morning.
This piece of s**** spent the whole day there eating our food and doing what he wanted.
She let him.
She was and still is scared of him.
There is a lot more to this but he thinks he has won, I was talking to a friend tonight and I told him how it is going to play out. He is living in a false sense of security.
I know I should not be posting/ saying this on here but you need to understand the part he played in all this. And how angry I am even after 2 years

How do I get rid of this anger and hatred without doing what I want to do?
I could rid the planet of this person in a blink of an eye, but it is illegal so how do I manage?

[pearlsw]

Hi In a bad way,

I was just dropping by and saw your post. Oh my! I am sorry, I don't know your backstory, but this certainly sounds like a difficult situation. I think I'd be friendly to my SO's ex, I don't think I'd want to see her, or anyone, every single day showing up at my house and being a pain like this. Wow!

Why is she scared of him? She sets no boundaries with him at all?

Why are saying he has a false sense of security? You mean he thinks this will go on and on, but he's dreaming?

He made trouble in your relationship? I don't mean to pepper you with questions, can you point me to an old post that might fill me in?

But any way, I have a lot of compassion for your anger! I've two relationships now where the other person was making so much trouble that it was not always easy to control my anger. I like to be in control, but... .oh man... .it is not easy, well, when you are hearing obscenities and oh geez, he was flipping me off with such fury it like it was some kind of rage dance routine the other day. I should have backed off entirely, but I just stood there to witness it and take it all in. I don't want to forget that scene or any of the other ones as I make final decisions this year about what is possible for my life.

Is there a way to make your home off limits to him entirely? Where do you go when these visits are happening? To manage my anger, in the past, I turned to meditation. It helped a lot. It slows you down. Gives you a chance to think.

warmly, pearl.

[Mutt]

I was talking to a friend tonight and I told him how it is going to play out. He is living in a false sense of security.

Did he come up in the conversation that you had with your friend last night? Can you fill us in on your conversation? What part did he have in all of this?

[In a bad way]

Thanks for the replies.
I am sorry, I should not have started this thread.
I will PM you both, if that is OK?

[Mutt]

I can understand feeling differently a couple of days later after a discussion. I assure you you won’t get judged here you have to get this stuff.

The magic of this forum are these discussions because you benefit not just from one or two opinions you benefit from everyone that joins. I’m good here on the boards.