Feeling scared, guilty and manipulated

[roogiez]

Hello, I have 21 year old twins. One has significant special needs, and the other has BPD. 2 weeks ago she tried to take her own life. She has 100s if self harm scares, spent a week in the hospital after crashing our family vehicle for the 2nd time in 4 years. I was scared to death of her coming home from hospital, the first few days were fine, but Saturday was awful. We went to an appointment and she forgot her ID, I got mad and she has shut down and not talked to me since. You would have thought the world was ending. So I’m worried all the time that I’m going to walk in her room and find her dead. I feel like I can never get mad or rock the boat because then it will be my fault that she decides to hurt herself. I’m really struggling. I feel so much guilt

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hello roogiez and welcome

I’m so sorry to hear that you are really struggling and that you feel so much guilt. I have to say that a lot of parents come here carrying a lot of guilt and I was one of them too. I am sure that as a parent you did the very best that you could. Raising kids is hard, you certainly had your hands full with your twins, one being special needs and the other having BPD, my heart goes out to you  .

I’m giving you a link:

Fear, Obligation and Guilt

I hope you find reading it useful x 

[Radcliff]

Welcome to bpdfamily!  I am so sorry for the pain that has brought you here, but am glad that you've found us.  I'd encourage you to become a regular visitor here, make this a part of your support system, and post on others' threads to encourage them.

This is a place where you can get as much empathy as you need.  Keep us up to date on your struggles.  You are not alone!

If you're looking to try some things different, wondering how you might make things a little better or at least lessen the wear and tear on you, take a look at the fantastic tools in the "BPD Family Connections" sidebar to the right ----->

What does your support system look like?  Do you have close friends, family, and/or a therapist who understand what you are going through and are there for you?

WW