How do i deal with total denial that he is suffering with BPD

[The Good Wife]

I am looking for advise on how to cope with my significant others' denial that he suffers from this disorder.  He becomes very angry with the mention of BPD  hates that someone is labeling him and refuses to even consider that some traits are right on target 

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi The Good Wife,



This is actually a bit of a controversial topic. You might want to take a look here: Telling Someone You Think They Have BPD

If he does not want a label, having one pushed on his is not a good idea. I mentioned my thoughts to my SO before I found this site. And I frankly, had a strong need to define this a bit to get a handle on it. That said, his needs were different. We do discuss that he has emotional sensitivity - that is how he always described himself anyway and it works for us as a way to discuss it when need be.

I think the way we try to steer fellow members is to focus on themselves... .there is a lot you can do to potentially improve things by putting the focus on you, and you being willing to change. Take a look at the lessons to the right of the board,  , and then stick around and discuss them with us. We're happy to support, and the more you are here the better we all get at it!

wishing you peace, pearl.

[RolandOfEld]

Hi The Good Wife, joining pearlsw in welcoming you here.

Seconding pearlsw that labels tend to trigger people with mental illnesses such as BPD.  Here is a video that helped me understand their perspective much better.  

I have never mentioned the word BPD with my uBPDw (undiagnosed BPD wife). When addressing problems, I focus on her "behaviors" and how they effect me. While she suspects she has BPD herself, she said she felt much more comfortable talking to our counselor, who avoids labels, than with our psychiatrist, who threw lots of words at her.

What behaviors on your SO's part led you to believe they have BPD, and how were you introduced to the disorder yourself?

~RolandOfEld