Son with undiagnosed BPD

[MelissaC]

My son is 18.  He isn't diagnosed with BPD because healthcare professionals feel he is,to young, but he meets all but one criteria and has for many years.  I feel lost,I hate how my daughters, 15 and 8 have so much of their lives controlled by his moods,  having friends,over is generally a no go   because if he is raging, well,  you get the picture.  Peace in our home is controlled by his moods. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi MelissaC

Welcome to the bpdfamily

You definitely have a lot on your hands dealing with your son and the delicate balancing act with your girls.  It truly is exhausting Walking on Egg shells. In fact the name of that book by Randi Kreger might be a great starting point for you if youve not already read it. It gives a great overview of BPD and some really useful strategies for managing and coping.

You say your son has been seeing professionals. Have you found them useful?

Wed.love yo hear more about your cuircumstances and I hope you have good family support. We are here to talk with you anytime.

Merlot

[Feeling Better]

Hello MelissaC

I would like to join Merlot in welcoming you here, as she says, it sounds like you truly are walking on eggshells.

Have you tried setting boundaries, these can be put in place to protect yourself and your daughters, if you wish to find out more just look to the right 
Under the TOOLS heading you will see Communicate Boundaries & Limits.

Another really useful article, I will give you the link for it, is about Fear, Obligation and Guilt

Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)

Looking forward to hearing more from you x