34 y/o daughter with BPD, I need help, I just can't cope with this anymore

[Parents! Get help here!]

I'm new here and have an adult daughter suffering with BPD and has never lived on her own.  She has had difficulties since she was a baby but no one knew it back then.  As she grew things became more difficult to deal with.  She cant keep a job, totaled two family members cars due to two DUI's, lost license, mentally abusive to me, stole money and hocked personal items and terrible mood swings. These are just a few things I am dealing with. I can't communicate with her without an all out meltdown from her  I also have a disabled brother that I care for along with a full time job.  I am at the end of my rope, as well as my daughter as far as getting help.  I feel like I am losing my mind.  I'm having difficulties living with this.  She has state insurance so getting the proper help is a challenge.  I need help and glad that I was at least able to find this site for comfort in some way.  I just cant cope with this anymore.

[Missy56]

I'm new here and have an adult daughter suffering with BPD and has never lived on her own.  She has had difficulties since she was a baby but no one knew it back then.  As she grew things became more difficult to deal with.  She cant keep a job, totaled two family members cars due to two DUI's, lost license, mentally abusive to me, stole money and hocked personal items and terrible mood swings. These are just a few things I am dealing with. I can't communicate with her without an all out meltdown from her  I also have a disabled brother that I care for along with a full time job.  I am at the end of my rope, as well as my daughter as far as getting help.  I feel like I am losing my mind.  I'm having difficulties living with this.  She has state insurance so getting the proper help is a challenge.  I need help and glad that I was at least able to find this site for comfort in some way.  I just cant cope with this anymore.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hello Missy56  

Welcome to bpdfamily. I'm sorry you are at the end of your rope, feel like you are losing your mind sounds familiar, that's a lot you are, have been  dealing with your daughter for so long, caring for your brother, holding it all together. I'm glad you've reached out for support and feel some comfort finding us, connecting with parents here who truly understand, are in similar situations, you are not alone.   Does your brother live with you?

It's such a relief landing here, a sanctuary, where we can vent our frustrations and struggles, gain a better understanding of BPD and our situation, find strategies and learn skills for change, improve our situations.

Things can get better, small, gentle steps here learning together we find our way  

I hear your exhaustion, what's happening right now, today?

WDx

[bluek9]

Welcome Missy56,

          Let me join Wendydarling in saying you have found a safe haven here. Sharing that you feel like your loosing your mind is something very commonly heard here. Reason being is that, that is how we have all felt, I know I did. When I found this place it was by chance, and I'm so thankful for it, it changed my life.     I too work full time, my D lives with me and I'm raising my grandson. Just had to move my ailing mom in with us.
        End of your rope  , I'm so very sorry you are hanging in that position right now. To feel that all hope is lost is scary.   take heart Missy56, there is always hope and there is always options, they are just to damn hard to see when your worn out, exhausted. Again let me echo WDx, gentle steps, baby steps, one moment at a time. Please know that there are many of here for your support and encouragement -- best part -- someone is here 24/7
Take care Missy56, hope to hear from you soon