Belief in supernatural powers

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi everyone,

My uBPDh believes that he can predict the future in certain ways. He also claims to have been having conversations with my deceased parents, as well as some of his deceased family members.

We are separated, and he is going through depression and I think the holiday weekend, which he spent by himself because I wasn't able to bring our son to see him, has triggered these behaviors. He mentions things like this from time to time, but it gets worse when he has been alone with his thoughts and off the normal routine of work, etc.

Anyone else see this in pwBPD? Or is this something else... .I read about schizotypal pd, but I don't know if it's a part of BPD as well or what.

Blessings and peace,

Redeemed

[I Am Redeemed]

Hi everyone,

My uBPDh believes that he can predict the future in certain ways. He also claims to have been having conversations with my deceased parents, as well as some of his deceased family members.

We are separated, and he is going through depression and I think the holiday weekend, which he spent by himself because I wasn't able to bring our son to see him, has triggered these behaviors. He mentions things like this from time to time, but it gets worse when he has been alone with his thoughts and off the normal routine of work, etc.

Anyone else see this in pwBPD? Or is this something else... .I read about schizotypal pd, but I don't know if it's a part of BPD as well or what.

Blessings and peace,

Redeemed

[BeagleGirl]

Redeemed,
I never experienced anything like that with dBPDxh. My apologies if you’ve already answered these questions in other posts, but I’m wondering if he has had a psych evaluation or if he is even open to the next idea.
BG

[isilme]

Is he on any medications?  My mother was placed on may meds for her chronic pain as well as depression, and with her bipolar disorder compounded with BPD, she did not follow directions well.  She'd scare me when I was about 8, while taking one mix of pills, talking to and looking for my deceased grandmother in our house.  I never knew this grandmother, she was put in a home after I was born, had Alzheimer's and was not coherent by then, died when I was 5.  It was not comforting to think Granny was hanging around our house. 

My H states he "knows" what wil happen at times, but that to me is more his self-fulfilling prophesies or his refusal to admit his feelings about the future are coloring his predictions.  He's often wrong but makes sure to point out things when he's right, even if I agreed it was likely as if I'd disagreed somehow. 

When emotionally strained, he DOES become less rational overall, and will make wild claims of all sorts.  I don't know if this could be a less alarming explanation - he'd like to be right at all costs, therefore, will invent validation from the departed?

I don't think conversations with the dead is a BPD thing so much as a disordered thinking thing.  He may be reaching somehow for a form of validation about some things, and it's not like you can refute a conversation that (likely) did not happen. 

Is he willing to talk to someone?  Is there a fear of harm to others or himself, or is it just disturbing that he makes these claims?

[I Am Redeemed]

Thanks BG and Islme,

He is not on any medications and is not receiving any mental health treatment. He had a mental evaluation done at my request while he was in jail on the dv charge, but that basically just determined that he was competent to stand trial. He told me the person who did the eval brought up the idea that he possibly had BPD. He has been diagnosed previously with PTSD and depression with psychotic features, this was four years ago after his last period of using massive amounts of methamphetamine.

He never truly recovered from that relapse, mentally speaking. I don't know if the drug use induced the delusional thinking (conspiracy theories, being followed, listened to, people plotting against him etc.) He would mention seeing shadow people or communicating with demons when he was really "out there" in his addiction. The last relapse, which was last fall, he was using meth again which apparently was tainted with MDMA, which is a hallucinogenic drug.

I did read that sometimes these types of drugs can trigger mental illnesses if the person has a genetic predisposition to them. From what I have heard of his father and possibly his grandfather, it runs in his family (the mental illness and also the meth addiction).

I know that BPD can be co-morbid with other disorders, so I was just wondering if these symptoms might be indicative of another pd, or if the drug use induced some type of permanent mental condition.

He is not open to a true psychological evaluation. I've been trying to navigate him towards that for years. Given that he has a history of violence to me as well as at least one suicide attempt (and has referred to other attempts that I know nothing about, maybe true, maybe not) I think he could potentially harm himself or someone else.

Four years ago when he was in counseling, I described all these behaviors to his counselor, including his talk of suicide and his violence towards me. It was not enough to have him involuntarily hospitalized. Not much I can do about it, I just have no clue how to respond or communicate with someone who thinks they can speak with dead people.

I also had the thought that he is making it up, and trying to get me to believe it. Once he tried to convince  he had amnesia and that he had woken up thinking it was five years earlier than the present time. It was an act, and I knew it. But it disturbed me that he would even put on a show like that. I mean, who does that?

Thanks for your replies.

Redeemed

[isilme]

I also had the thought that he is making it up, and trying to get me to believe it. Once he tried to convince  he had amnesia and that he had woken up thinking it was five years earlier than the present time. It was an act, and I knew it. But it disturbed me that he would even put on a show like that. I mean, who does that?

Gaslighting can be a part of many mental illnesses, though with BPD it's most often to avoid taking blame or feeling shame.  They tend to twist and turn things and reimagine them to make themselves blameless victims beset by all the rest of us.  And it can be a bit about control, though that control I think is still rooted in avoiding shame and blame.  It's usually tied to projection. 

Other PDs might do it for a control seeking alone, a feeling of power over you.  Maybe if they feel out of control themselves, controlling you makes them feel better?  Maybe he needs you to believe it so he feels some sort of validation for things he knows are invalid. I don't really know much at all about it. 

So, how does all of this affect day to day life?  Is he able to work?  Adult very much without help?  Is this him retreating to a fantasy of sorts because the real world is painful? 

[Lady Itone]

Yes my ex saw dead people, even when she was otherwise fairly lucid. Sometimes it creeped me the  out when she was rather accurate in descriptions of people I knew that had passed!

She was diagnosed with a schitzo-affective disorder which I think involves hallucinations sometimes. I never doubted that what she saw was real to her. So I didn't invalidate when I talked to her about it. I actually found it kind of interesting, and I think it scared her less once she talked about it and she saw I wasn't scared.

That story about pretending to have amenesia--so weird! What in the actual heck?

She also thought she got messages from people in the clouds sometimes, but the "sky people" only seemed to appear when she'd done lots of Adderall or meth, so I was less interested in them.

[I Am Redeemed]

Islme

He does hold a job currently, but he mismanages money and is always in a financial bind. He does not do adult responsibilities well. I think he does use this to manipulate or control to a certain extent, particularly because the "messages" were from my parents. Dad passed four years ago, mom more recently this last April.

Lady I,

My uBPDh (separated) also used Adderall and meth. He heard voices, said demons were talking to him, had auditory hallucinations involving music playing, saw shadow people. The conspiracy theories showed up during a severe drug use period and never went away. Maybe the drugs triggered a dormant mental illness, or caused it. I am not sure.

Thanks,

Redeemed

[Cat Familiar]

Is there any chance he's currently using?

[I Am Redeemed]

Cat, I don't believe he is. I am well enough experienced to know the tell tale signs. This is his "normal". I suppose he could be using marijuana, but I don't see signs of anything like meth.

[jsgirl360]

Hi everyone,

My uBPDh believes that he can predict the future in certain ways. He also claims to have been having conversations with my deceased parents, as well as some of his deceased family members.

We are separated, and he is going through depression and I think the holiday weekend, which he spent by himself because I wasn't able to bring our son to see him, has triggered these behaviors. He mentions things like this from time to time, but it gets worse when he has been alone with his thoughts and off the normal routine of work, etc.

Anyone else see this in pwBPD? Or is this something else... .I read about schizotypal pd, but I don't know if it's a part of BPD as well or what.

Blessings and peace,

Redeemed

When I first began studying BPD, I read that psychiatrists named the disorder "borderline personality" because the patients constantly seemed to cross the "borderline" between rational thinking and psychosis. While the diagnostic criteria may have evolved,  the name stuck. It's still fitting, because many a pwBPD's thoughts and actions are far from rational to a non.

In my own experience with pwBPD, he has experienced seeing things/hearing things in times of extreme stress. He is usually a firm atheist,  not believing in God, Satan, or demons. However,  he has freaked out claiming there were demons in our bedroom and they were scaring him. Once I was there, and had to calm him down. Another time, I was at work, and he claimed they were grabbing at his leg during the night and he had to pull it away. Probably one of the scariest experiences for him happened at a hotel. He claimed they were harassing him during the night. For someone who doesn't believe in demons, he couldn't check out of that room fast enough.

As a Christian who does believe in demons, I'm on the fence as to what actually did happen to him during those times. I would almost expect demons and evil spirits to surround someone who carries so much anger and misery. But only God knows. He may have been hallucinating.

Also during times of stress, I've noticed that BPDh generates more paranoid and persecutory thoughts that others "don't like him" or are "talking about him". Most of the time these ideas have no rational basis.

[I Am Redeemed]

Jsgirl,

I am a Christian also, and I do believe that evil spirits were "talking" to him during the time he was using, because I have been taught that the enemy can speak thoughts into your mind. I prayed and spoke against them and quoted the word out loud all during that dark time. I have been taught to use the authority given to believers in the name of Jesus. However, he was telling me that demons were playing music in the corner of the house. He has always had a suspicious and paranoid nature, but the whole conspiracy theory thing kicked off during the drug use and it lessened in intensity, slowly, after he stopped using. But the beliefs about listening devices and federal investigation never went away.

He used to make me come outside to talk so no one could listen to our conversation. Frequently he says things "for the benefit of whoever's listening" and usually this is him denying that something happened or that he said this, that or the other because he doesn't want to be recorded admitting to something.

He believes he had a spiritual experience and that God has given him a special power. This experience was complete with physical symptoms and he said that the words of the Bible came off the page and were swimming all around him.

Now he claims to be getting messages from angels. And apparently, my dead parents.

Said he could predict the future according to whatever vehicle i bought. Said he could feel all the emotions tied to it, the hurt, the tears.

His delusional thinking is scary, particularly because he has become violent when he thought I was in on the conspiracy, or that I didn't believe him.

I don't know what to make of this.

Redeemed

[jsgirl360]

Redeemed,

I've definitely heard of evil spirits talking to those under the influence of drugs. Using drugs makes us much more vulnerable to these demons.  You did well by speaking against them in the name of Jesus.  

Perfectly sane people also have reported encounters with angels and demons, so I cannot discredit anything.

Some of the other things... .like the paranoia about people listening to him and other delusional beliefs... .could be indicative of something else.  Drug use has resulted in extended psychotic episodes.  Other disorders could also be comorbid with BPD... .for example schizoaffective and depression with psychotic features. What do you think?

I believe you mentioned that you're currently separated from him.  It's concerning that he has become violent in the past. Are you safe right now?

[I Am Redeemed]

Thanks jsgirl,

I am safe right now but there was an incident recently where he threatened me and told me I had one month to move out of where I am currently staying. He said there were drug dealers in my neighborhood and he doesn't want his son around that. This is crazy, because I live in a nice neighborhood with kids and dogs and suvs. Near the best elementary school in the county. That's also when he brought up the federal investigation stuff again.

I don't know how to put a link to the thread in here, but it's on the conflicted board. Titled "He threatened me. Physically intimidating body language and tone of voice."

His slip into that threatening state coupled with the delusional thinking really has me nervous.

Thanks again,

Redeemed

[AskingWhy]

It's a fine line here, IAR, on what is supernatural and what is not.

The power of faith is amazing, and some claim miracles.  Some scoff while others point to a spiritual force.

My first thought was a pathology called "magical thinking."  

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/magical-thinking

Here is another article.  Please note it mentions small children engaging in magical thinking, which is where our BPD partners squarely reside mentally and emotionally.

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/magical-thinking

[Mrb87]

Omg this is what I've been saying about my BPDbf. He believes he can predict the future and the dead talk to him. He predicted two years ago that he would die, either by murder, accident, or disease. It was very strange to me and he got upset and called me a non believer. He claims that he holds GODS secret and God is afraid that he will expose him that is the reason God puts bad luck and death in his life. He is not afraid to curse God because he can destroy God one day. He is so far gone. When he starts his rants I make it a point to get very upset and put up my boundary rules to show him this isn't ok to talk about.