New to board, searching for Gunderson feedback

[LisaWM]

Hi all,
I'm new to this board but have already found it to be extremely helpful. My 20 year old daughter seems to have many traits of BPD but is diagnosed with anxiety and depression.  For the past 5 years we have dealt with cutting, suicide attempts, more medication changes that I can keep track of, three inpatient/day hospital programs, issues with food and body image, and most recently an unsuccessful first year in college.  She can't return to college due to anxiety, and is barely holding onto a (very) part time retail job.  She is however, able to play lots of video games and hang out with her friends at their colleges for fun.  Her self esteem is so low it's non-existent, and any suggestions we make is turned upon herself in a negative way (i.e., says she's a failure, stupid, doesn't deserve to live).  We're at our wits end and are searching for a program to help her (and us!) move on with life.  Has anyone had any experience with the Gunderson Program at McClean's Hospital in Belmont? It is so expensive but I wonder is it worth it.  Other short term programs didn't do much to help my daughter.  Thank you in advance for your feedback!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sigh. . .]

When my daughter was 21 back in 2009 I tried to get her into Gunderson House and was told that the place she would be eligible for is 3 East.  My daughter was in the six week intensive DBT program at 3 East and out of all the places she's been (over 10), she felt that 3 East was head and shoulders over any other program she went to (over Silver Hill, Sierra Tucson, Clearview day treatment residential etc.).   I felt that the staff at McLean 3 East was exemplary and their caring was beyond measure.  My daughter is now 30 and she feels that she still refers back to the treatment she received there.
What I would absolutely suggest is that if your daughter does go to 3 East, that it's imperative that she continues at another longer residential program somewhere so that the skills are solidified.  Be sure and check out the residential treatment program in person because what they say on the telephone and what their website looks like is not usually a really good indication what the facility looks like.  Do NOT go to Rose Hill in Michigan - I can tell you horror stories about what happened to my daughter there but I won't go into detail.
The best of luck to you.  If you CAN afford 3 East then I would recommend it.  The best of luck to you, so many of us have similar stories to what your daughter is going through.
Btw, if you are able to attend a Family Connections Class through NEABPD, please go on their website and register.  It's a 12 week program solely about your loved one and BPD.  They teach coping skills, how to talk to someone with BPD, education etc.  Also, check out Mclean Hospital webinars on BPD - best I've ever seen!

[Merlot]

Hi LisaWM

Welcome to the bpdfamily. Im sorry for what ypu you are going through.  Diagnoses or not, it is clear your daughter and the family are in crisis, and need much support. You are in the right place.

My daughter 27, exhibited and still does many similar behaviours. She was diagnosed three years ago with BPD and I have been cut off from her for 9 months dollowimg a terrible rage.
I have spent much time here with the family learning from other parents and the wealth of information here on the board.

I dont have direct experience wiyh therapy programmes, as my DD27 denies her diagnosis, however I recently read I Hate You, Dont leave me. It provides great insight into the diagnosis of BPD, anxiety disorders and available therapies.  What is clear is that there is no one size fits all.

Please look after yourself and let us know how you are going.

Merlot