Papers signed at last

[takingandsending]

Yesterday after a 7 hour mediation session in separate rooms in which xw spent 5 of those hours with the mediator, we finally got signed papers with no “annual review” of the parent plan that she had insisted on. I also refused her proposed addendum that I be required to only use one nanny for my S7 and S13 for the 3 days at 3 hours a morning that I use a service. I asked the mediator why I should agree to an addendum that would find me in contempt if the nanny could not show up and I had a replacement.

I agreed to addendum that communications would go through OFW that she insisted on so I would curb my threatening and abusive language from texts (yeah, you can guess how this one will turn out).

She also demanded that she be allowed to take kids every year for first 2 weeks in August to a Suzuki strings camp we have been going to. Said no to that one too, reminding collab team we already had language in PP on who gets to have first choice for summer vacation dates.

Agreed to change ROFR notification to only one day v. after one overnight because xw insisted she mistakenly agreed to that in our PP - this after she pushed for ROFR notification after one overnight so that she wouldn’t have to tell me every time she went out of town without the kids on a weekend. Actually hilarious and sad all at once.

We wasted so much time on BS that the language in the final orders and PP addenda may have time bombs that my L and I missed. I tried to be thorough. I proposed tighter wording and sometimes broader wording where xw sought to punish me with one way measures that clearly were better written applicable to both parties.

Papers will be delivered to court and decree finalized before end of year so I will not be subject to the Trump tax shift on to payers of spousal maintenance.

2+ year journey to get to this point, but at least I can use the court order going forward.

[Nope]

Congratulations on getting to this point! From your posts it's pretty clear that's been a monumental task.   

I suggest reading over everything once you get the final copy of the order and keeping a copy right on hand. You can be pretty sure that the first thing she'll try to do is bend rules and look for loopholes. Try to follow the order to the letter and without exceptions for at least the first year. It's just easier, and giving an inch invites more argument and termoil.

You are going to learn to love OFW. Everything is time stamped, date stamped, and you can even see when something you have sent has been read. Expect to get complaints in a couple of months that she never wanted to use OFW and it was something you insisted on. Follow the order. If you have to go back to court later OFW will become a wealth of good evidence.

[takingandsending]

Expect to get complaints in a couple of months that she never wanted to use OFW and it was something you insisted on. Follow the order. If you have to go back to court later OFW will become a wealth of good evidence.

She already broke the mandate she insisted on tonight ... .no email, no text, only OFW to communicate. Of course, I knew going in that she believes that the rules are only there for me. It will be what it will be. Having the evidence though is a relief. The divorce coach and mediator were surprised at how readily I agreed to that addendum to the PP.