20 yrs old daughter has BPD

[barbara15]

I am exhausted for last 2.5 yrs, she does not want therapy

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[barbara15]

Any answer

[barbara15]

Help

[lbjnltx]

Hi barbara15,

 

Glad your here and sorry I wasn't here to greet you when you arrived.  Your daughter is 20 and struggling and won't go to therapy to help  herself... .that's is frustrating I know.  It's hard to feel like there's anything that can be done to improve your feelings, your relationship with her, and her improving either.  I want to let you know that there are things you can do.

The best part of this is it is under your control to do it and that is something we sometimes haven't felt in a long time when we have BPD children... .a sense of control over something... .

anything!

I found when I had some power over my own life again I was able to learn, help, and improve my relationship with my daughter.  It wasn't perfect and it was much better.

I learned how to communicate with her in a beneficial way... .I felt empowered by that.  I did this by practicing validation.  Here is a link to some info on validation that I think will help you get a good idea of what it's about:  Communication Skills: Validation

I'd like to ask some questions so I can get a better idea of how to help.  Hope that's ok.

Does your daughter live with you?  Has she had any therapy in the past?  Is she diagnosed and how did that come about?

I look forward to your reply.

lbj

[livednlearned]

Hi barbara15,

I wanted to join lbjnltx in welcoming you to the site. I'm sorry too that you didn't hear back from anyone right away, and I hope you'll share more and tell us more about what's going on with your daughter, and how you're coping. It does feel exhausting when your child is resisting the one thing you feel will help her.

What behaviors are causing you the most problems? Are there specific aspects of her behavior you find most difficult to deal with?

I hope you'll let us know how we can help you. You're not alone.



LnL