just gotta reach out...

[lark265]

Hi, well - dumped by a Borderline.  I feel like I just landed on Neptune without a map.  The loneliness is powerful.  The loneliness is cruel.  Don't know what happened.  I try and try to put some logic into it, but to no avail.  I have been dumped before but... .that was different.  The person was sad also.  It was NOT a sudden, immediate act.  It was very hard but it seemed like there was some kind of cushion to soften my fall.  But not this time.  No warning.  No cushion.  Kind of like a reject letter from a college you have dreamed of attending.  You worked hard on the application for months.  Put your heart into it.  Thought it was going to work.  But then you get this black and white form letter in the mail.  Anybody else?  Thanks.

[confused4now]

 , so glad you reached out!. I don't think you will find one person on this board that can not validate your feelings. It's so painful to be blind sighted by someone you care about. The cognitive dissonance made me go crazy. The first few times it happened I couldn't eat, sleep, no self care. Crazy thing is, as time went by, I adapted dysfunctional coping skills in order to survive. If this is the first few times this has happened your probably shocked. If this is a pattern you might feel hopeless like I did. Either way, read as much as you can about the clinical condition so you know what your dealing with. I wasted a lot of emotional energy on trying to save my ex husband. I thought if he got "BETTER", we would survive. Not my story, I was so focused on his behavior and what he did, I became a victim. It took 7 years to surrender and realize I stayed willingly. It has been hell crawling out of the pit I created. It's only been 1.5 years but my life is nothing like it was the day I made him move out. I thought it would be easy once he left, but that's when I began to fight for my sanity. I hope you find empathy here and the empowerment you need to grow from this pain. Don't beat yourself up and keep coming back. Sending you love and light

[hope2727]

Glad you found us you are not alone. I am so so sorry you are experiencing this. The trauma of it all can really spin you head. You are in a good place among friends who understand here. I am sorry I can't take time to write more now but please know you are not alone.

[once removed]

ouch.

what was the reason given?

[Vexed]

I'm with you lark.  I never had much luck with girls, especially not any girls I actually liked.  That is until I met my ex which showed me what it was like to live with joy and happiness.  It's hard now that she's gone I'm 6 years older now and I wonder if I'll ever find that happiness again.  It's been about over month, I'm not in agony anymore but still very depressed.  It's amazing how much I could love a girl so much who treated me so poorly. 

[Luan]

Overnight devaluation after 4 months of adventure, fun and love (was it love?) Intense anxiety, not eating, one week off work, trying to understand her pain that she had projected upon me and shut off her emotions, a chance conversation led me to BPD, led me to here, led me to understanding more about her pain, led me to compassion and patience and acceptance. Still miss her every moment, but accept she has to do what she has to do.

Let her know I love and care, she is free to choose what she needs, but if she is ever ready to take a journey of recovery, I am here with a whole world of tools and empathy.