My teenage BPD son says he hears voices. Any others have this experience?

[Arusha]

Hello,

I am very happy to have recently found this website.  I have read through some of the others posts and have found comfort in knowing that others have had similar experiences.   This is my first posting.  My son has not received an official diagnosis because he is not yet 18 but after two visits to the ER due to suicide attempts, the ER psychiatrists there have indicated that he exhibits BPD traits.  We suspected this about two years ago and finally glad to hear a mental health professional point to this as an explanation.  It's all just so hard, skipping school, lying, drug use, stealing.

But on top of all that, there more and something that I have not see anywhere is whether other BPDs hear voices.  My son says he hears a voice in his head.  He knows the voice is in his head but says it is the voice that tells him to harm himself. The mental health professionals have ruled out schizophrenia and say that the voice is just his own thoughts.  My son doesn't agree.   Another psychiatrist has said that it is not unusual for people to hear voices when they are very stressed.  My son tells me that the voice gets very loud and angry if he talks about the voice.  I feel bad but I sometimes wonder if the voice is even true and perhaps he is lying about it. 

Has anyone else had this kind of experience with their loved one?

Arusha

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hello and welcome to the group, Arusha!

I was headed to bed when I saw your post and so I'm short on time but wanted to welcome you here, assure you that you have found a safe, supportive, place to share your experiences. We get it

My daughter, when she was in grade school, once told me she saw a boy in our bathroom wall. I can't recall her ever telling me that she has auditory hallucinations, but I've read that it's not uncommon in times of great stress. Here's a quote I found regarding the subject:

From the book, Understanding and Treating Borderline Personality Disorder.

The cognitive-perceptual symptoms of BPD are most commonly expressed at times of severe emotional stress. These symptoms include undue suspiciousness; ideas of reference and paranoid ideas; and transient distortions in perception, such as illusions and brief auditory or visual hallucinations. Some individuals with BPD have out-of-body experiences—that is, seeing oneself from a distance (depersonalization)—or feelings that the world around them has become unreal, as though it is being viewed through a fog or a window (derealization).

Some patients have more chronic distortions in thinking, including beliefs that appear odd or eccentric (e.g., beliefs in a “sixth sense” or magical abilities). The neurotransmitter dopamine has been implicated in the expression of some of the psychotic-like symptoms or the so-called mild thought disorders seen in BPD. Dopamine may also be involved in the mediation of arousal, irritability, and anger. Dopamine-blocking medications, the neuroleptics, are the treatment of first choice for these symptoms.

I hope your post will bring others who have experiences to share with you.

It sounds like you've been through a lot with your son, it IS hard, and I'm glad you've reached out for support. You don't have to travel alone.

Is your son receiving any ongoing treatment? And, importantly, do you have any support in the real world? Many of us benefit greatly from working with our own therapist - especially when that therapist has experience with BPD.

I am glad you've joined us and look forward to getting to know you.

~ OH

[wendydarling]

Hello Arusha and welcome 

I join Only Human welcoming you to  bpdfamily. I'm glad you've joined us for support as you navigate your way to helping your young son and yourself.

You'll have read BPD is more than often co-morbid. My 30DD had a voice she called George who similarly told her she was useless, bad, goaded her. DD had psychotic episodes when she was in crisis 2015/16, she is on antipsychotics along with antidepressants, antianxiety meds and using her skills and learning from DBT.

Listen to your son, validate his feelings, the voices are real to him.

Another psychiatrist has said that it is not unusual for people to hear voices when they are very stressed.

Yes my DD was very stressed and ill. I know my DD's psychiatrist was cautious adding additional diagnosis/labels for some may not find it helpful. However my DD has been very active in asking questions, getting to the bottom of what she is feeling and why so she can help herself, she was most latterly given the additional diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. At this point she'd already stabilised on the medications and I think if she'd not pressed them the diagnosis would not have been offered, she'd already been identified with comorbidities ~ depression, psychosis, anxiety, mood disorder...

I feel bad but I sometimes wonder if the voice is even true and perhaps he is lying about it.

I can understand that you've been dealing with difficult behaviours for years.

How has your son received that he's showing signs of BPD traits?

WDx

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Arusha
I join the others in welcoming you here and assuring you that you have come to the right place for help and support. Only Human and Lollypop have pointed the way to some good educational materials. I also want to encourage you to take care of yourself as you go through this process. Are you seeing your own therapist? Do you have a self care plan? We are with you. You are not alone.

[Arusha]

Thank you @wendydarling @OnlyHuman @FaithHopeLove for your replies.  I appreciate the excerpt from the book.  The literature I have read so far hasn't said anything like that mentioned in the excerpt.

He has been seeing a therapist but most recently the therapist has said that my son needs intensive DBT therapy which is not something he has experience in.  My job this week is to find another therapist but the pickings are thin where we live.  Even more so because he is only 17 and not yet an adult but I'm going to try.

He is accepting that he has BPD traits but he's not sure what that means and said that he would prefer to get an actual diagnosis.  That was encouraging to me.  Having said that, he also says that he doesn't always want to go to therapy because the voice starts yelling at him if he talks about the voice.

I sought therapy for myself about 6 months ago.  The therapist I am seeing does not have experience with BPD other than knowing what it is but it has still been helpful.  The therapist did mention that BPD is usually caused by some kind of trauma or abuse.  We were suspicious of this when things changed for our son because it was so sudden.  But we are not aware of anything that happened and my son has said that nothing has happened.  After some reading, I have come to learn that abuse/trauma isn't necessarily the cause the BPD. He has always been highly sensitive and easily impacted by both positive and negative influences around him.

Arusha

[FaithHopeLove]

You are right, Arusha. BPD is thought to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors (such as neglect or abuse or other trauma) but it can be very difficult to pin down "the cause" in any particular case. My therapist, who is experienced in treating BPD, says we may never know the reason why my son has BPD. I figure it is just as well. I know I did my best to raise him well. Now I need to help him in a very different way.

It  is so great that your son recognizes something is wrong and is willing to get help. That, combined with your love and support, may well see him through to a better day.

[Harri]

My therapist, who is experienced in treating BPD, says we may never know the reason why my son has BPD. I figure it is just as well. I know I did my best to raise him well. Now I need to help him in a very different way.

This is so important and I am glad you shared that Faith.  It is so true and so important for parents to remember that.