My frustration mounts

[Trobert]

Yes, my frustration mounts, and I am not easily frustrated or upset! Here’s the situation. My step-daughter was told by my wife’s “medium counselor” that she earn a degree in a specific field, that she would do exceedingly well. With this advice, my step-daughter completed that degree.

This last year starting taking grad classes, she started her 5th year and didn’t do too well. My wife asked her to work to offset some of her own expenses. I suggested she should devote all of her time to her studies. In fact, the manager of her job said the same thing.

After all was said and done, she was very tired from working and studying. She wasn’t accepted into the doctorate program, which is unfortunate.

I was just informed about all of this last night. I accept that this particular field wouldn’t fit her well under the circumstances. She needs to be happy in whatever field she is good at. What is rather frustrating and irritating is that this “medium counselor” led her astray, not alone all the money for 5 years for college, with most of the money from a fund I put in for some 16 years. Also, after my wife and step-daughter knowing this for 6 months, I found out last night.

I also just found out that the 2 of them were looking at other grad school programs, but they would be much more
expensive.

Now, the plan is that my step-daughter is going to pursue an MA in acupuncture like my wife, another 3 years. Again, I have no problem with my step-daughter finding her life’s purpose. My wife asked me if I could contribute more money. I tactfully said that I cannot guarantee that, because I pay for the majority of the bills and teach and tutor already. So, she understands. Besides, I have saved a lot of money for her education, and there’s still money leftover. Besides, I would like to do some traveling to see both of my daughters.

In summary, the mistaken, costly “prediction” by the “medium counselor” along with my wife and step-daughter not being honest and planning behind my back are too much! Students change their majors and focus, and that’s fine. The way these 3 women worked behind my back wasn’t appropriate. My wife just last night before all of these revelations said how our brother-in-law was deceptive, and she degraded him!

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[Scarlet Phoenix]

Hi Trobert 
Since you're pretty new, I want to say welcome here! Your situation is not good right now, but I'm happy you've found us.

I can see why you're frustrated. That's a lot to take in.
What can you do for yourself right now to feel better? An activity you like for example?

Not being heard and not being included is often the case in these kinds of relationships. Since you're new, I'm sure you haven't had time yet to look around the website. We do have a lot of helpful information about what we can do on our part to smooth the waters some so that our partners don't dysregulate so much. This one's a good one: Communication Skills - Don't Be Invalidating. What do you think?