What can I expect as the best result of DBT?

[Borderlined]

Say my wife's therapist directs her to DBT therapy ,and my wife agrees to accept the diagnosis and she applies herself.  In time,what is the best I can hope for?
Right now she is miserable all the time.  Always fighting the world and not understanding it. Do people in recovery get somewhat better? I hate coming home from work. I rather sit in traffic. It's so much more peaceful.


What is the best I can hope for?
I love her so much. I know she has a disorder.  I don't want to leave her. This is no life for either of us

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

That's such a hard thing to answer.

If she really is applying herself then "the sky is the limit" as far as improvement goes. 

Listen, after reading your comment about peaceful and coming home, I would want you to know that there is likely more change available if you focus on changing the dynamic that putting lots of energy into her, her therapist and all that.

Obviously...lots of details to get into...but what I wrote is a very general "truth" that almost always turns out to be "true".

Would you like to work through details?

Best,

FF

[Borderlined]

I  would very much  like to hear what you have to say.
Im more than willing to listen .
If I had answers for myself wouldn't be on this board

[Cat Familiar]

I think it's great that your wife is not only willing to accept the diagnosis, but also will do DBT. That's a huge step in the right direction.

You sound like you're somewhat hopeful. With that in mind, I'm going to redirect this thread to the Bettering board, where you can learn strategies that will help support her as she makes changes.

Cat

[flourdust]

As you probably know, a DBT program combines both group and individual therapy and skills-building over several months, possibly longer than a year.

If your wife takes it seriously and applies herself, she may be able to come out the other side with better ability to regulate her own emotions and thoughts and communicate productively. Not perfect, by any means, but improved.

It's also a good idea for you to learn some DBT skills yourself -- the program may have some training for family members or you can buy a workbook. The general skills on emotion regulation can be very helpful for anyone in a stressful situation, such as your home life.

Good luck.

[Borderlined]

I'm sorry if I misled you, in no way is she willing to accept even the remote possibility of her having BPD. The mention of it sends her to the moon! She says it's for crazy people.  She knows cause she looked it up. That's people like Jeffrey Dahmer who kills and eats people. Clearly she didn't research it in the least.
I have read 4 or 5 books on it now. I'm on my 5th time reading Walking on Eggshells.  How I speak to her does help. Understanding she is ill and there's the wonderful woman beneath it keeps me with her. That and my dogs. They have been the most loving support I could ever ask for. But my life sucks

[formflier]

  The mention of it sends her to the moon! 

How does she take it if labels are dropped and behaviors are described instead?

How does/would DBT go if presented like this .  "Let's work on DBT to increase our skill for (xyz)  " (xyz..enter the skill)

So..it's not as if anyone is "wrong" or "bad".  If "the ability to stay centered" is a good thing...then "increasing" it is a good thing as well..right?

What do you think?

Best,

FF