BPD left me and is with another man

[Helipilot]

Hey guys. Nothing new here. We met, i fell for her, we started our relationship February this year. On August, everything was ok and perfect. She told me she had some fetish on kinky sex and I didn't liked it very much like being choked and slapped and stuff like that.

I laughed at it, but not trying to mock her or making her ashamed or anything like that. We had sex that day and I tried to be more agressive and she told me she loved it. That I did just what she wanted me doing it. Next day we talk about meeting in the weekend and I told her maybe I couldnt.

Then she told me we needed to talk, that she was unhapy, with unsatisfied desires and stuff like that and things completely different of what she has shown me during our relationship. That was on a monday. We talked more the entire week, she cried a lot everytime we talked, asking why she would have those feelings. She has being diagnosed with BPD and were on medication and therapy. She told me during the week that she wanted to talk to me personaly on sunday. I told her, that if she wanted to meet me to try to work things out and to try to save what we felt, I would be there for her and do my best cause I loved her, but if she wanted to break up, she could do it on text, cause it would be to painful to me to seeing her breaking up with me.

Saturday morning i receive a message that she no longer sees how can we be together and wish me the best. I cried a lot. Her mother called me to try to understand what happened and i told her I dont know why she did it and I dont even know what i have done.

next day i send her a message saying that i love her and i want her back. she told me that, for this to happen, we needed to talk. But she sounded so cold... so ok with the breakup, like a completely different person. I knew she didnt loved me anymore on that moment. I cried more and said goodbye.

her mother called me next day and told me that she had stopped taking her medicine and she was acting strangelly and they had a fight and stuff like that. she also told me to NOT go after her, so I did what she told me. I cut contact.

2 weeks later she sends me a message saying that if I wanted to talk she would be open to talk to me and if I never wanted to talk to her again, she would understand.

I told her that I really wanted her back and to make things work but, when I saw she was ok and not sad about the break up, that hurt me so bad. She was completely ok.
She told me stuff like I am to slow for her, she lost the attraction due my lack of interest in her kind of sex and that i didnt liked her songs (REALLY?) so it was better to move appart.

My last words to her were "I've loved you very much, and will really miss you." She replied "Take care"

2 months later, crying everyday. I found out that she was with another boyfriend. Telling she loves him, and all the sweet things she always has told me.

Its very painful to me all this things happening so close and she really not caring about me anymore. I am a needy person, i admit that. Perhaps it was my mistake to fell for a girl like this.

I deleted her from my social media with great pain in my heart.

She has tried to kill herself before, she had cut her hair trying to hurt herself, jump from a moving car with her family. She has a problem. I never thought i could fix it but I thought she was doing her treatment and medicines right.

Reading posts from this site helped me get better. I dont know even what I expect with this post. I think I just expected that she missed me as much as I miss her... But i know she wont and never will...

She never abused me or got angry with me and stuff like that... but she cried a lot when i said i couldnt see her...

Guess i just want to feel that love again...

[formflier]

I'm so sorry that you are in this position.  Remembering such good times in a relationship, wanting that back and having your ex be so cold is a tough spot to be in.

I want so assure you  that you have found a place with people that "get it".  I've experience the exact same back and forth that you describe.  Really hard to make sense of.

Why do you think she cried a lot when you said you couldn't see her?  Was that the first big crying session she ever had with you?

Best,

FF

[Helipilot]

Hi,
formflier.

I don't know if she cried when I said I could not see her cause we talked on text. But During the week she cried 2 days when we talked on phone. She almost tried suicide in the subway and tried to contact me to go there and take her home (cause the subway staff would'nt let her go alone) but as I was in a important reunion in my job, I left my phone on mute and didnt get her call. One friend went there to help here.

The first time she openly cried with me was one day I also said I couldnt see her in her home and she called telling me that she was not ok and to ask if she could come here and see me. I told her that was ok and she came and we had a great time together. She always cried for the smallest things but she never got angry or abusive towards me. She only was aggressive towards herself and her family.

She was such a sweet girl but she really broke my heart and I just cant trust her anymore... And the way she moved on so quickly... that's what hurts the most.

I from Brazil by the way... Sorry for the bad english.

[formflier]

 

I from Brazil by the way... Sorry for the bad english.

No worries.  Seems fine to me!

So...what's your plan?  What do you think happens next in your life?

Best,

FF

[Helipilot]

I really don't know.

Professionally I am studying harder than ever. I've acquired 2 salesforce certifications since we broke up. My company is proud of me.

I am working out and for the first time in a long time I can run 50 minutes ate 9 km/h speed. My plan is to lose all the fat and get a lean body.

I cut all contact with her, deleted her on my social media... it hurts that she forgot me so soon and so quickly. When i did it i saw a last post of her happy with the new bf... when I removed her from my social media... She deleted me as well after that...

Guess that's the end... it hurts... but slowly I am realising that maybe better now than 5 years from now, with a child and a life planned...

I am a needy person and my ego got hurt... there is an emptyness inside... I miss her... she looked like a great girl and a true person who understood me and liked me from who i am