Sharing info: Michigan stay-at-home parent status WRT custody

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

For those who'd like something to read, I just ran across this:

publicdocs.courts.mi.gov/OPINIONS/FINAL/COA/20200423_C351004_51_351004.OPN.PDF

If I'm reading it correctly, it's generally asserting that the fact that one parent works while the other stays at home with the kid(s) can't be held against the working parent in custody determinations. Curious what others think, and hope this is helpful.

[kells76]

For those who'd like something to read, I just ran across this:

publicdocs.courts.mi.gov/OPINIONS/FINAL/COA/20200423_C351004_51_351004.OPN.PDF

If I'm reading it correctly, it's generally asserting that the fact that one parent works while the other stays at home with the kid(s) can't be held against the working parent in custody determinations. Curious what others think, and hope this is helpful.

[Newyoungfather]

This is a very interesting article, in my state we have guidelines for determining custody, one of them is who is able to care for the mental and physical care of the child.  I have been actually on the other side of this, I was able to re-arrange my work schedule so I always have off when I have my son.  ExBPD didn't like this, even though it was my legal custody time she insisted that I shouldn't be able to spend this time with my son and tried to make excuses of how we are going to be fined, etc.
 In my state custody is determined by overnights not parenting time, about two years ago (in a previous agreement) the court master stated that since I am able to care for the minor child during when the other parent is working I can have refusal of first right.  I didn't gain custody of my child so to say however in the long run it worked in my favor a year or so later when I petition for 50/50 custody because it demonstrated that I could take care of the child. 
I believe high conflict parents would attempt to say "I'm a stay at home parent" in order to keep the child from the other parent or for child support purposes, one parent can state they take care of the child so they deserve primary custody hence money from child support.
My L told me that no court would place the child in 3rd party care (except for schooling/public schooling) if either parent is capable of caring for the child.  So far in my child custody case my judge has been very level headed and listened to both sides.  I have 50/50 custody, could I technically say I want primary custody yes, my attorney told me at this stage all of the factors of custody come into play, I believe there are 18 of them.  It's going to be interesting in the future to see how everything pans out.
Thanks Kells for the article.

[ForeverDad]

The couple decided to have a child, using Bridget’s egg fertilized with a sperm donor and implanted in Sarah...  Bridget and Sarah’s relationship began to deteriorate after AB’s birth.

This is what occurred in my marriage, once my spouse gave birth there was a definite chilling change in our relationship.  I've described it here in various ways, one of them was that it seemed my spouse could not love both her husband and child, it was choose one and increasingly shut out the other.  I cannot say Sarah displayed BPD traits from that one sentence, but it sure jumped out at me.

This is a Michigan case.  Typically the working father there gets alternate weekends and ordered to pay child support and alimony, but maybe some fairness here in the appeal is since this is a marriage of two women?

[Newyoungfather]

@foreverdad, this similar patterned happened to me too, as soon as she got pregnant and I told her I wasn't going to marry her until problems got resolved I became the bad guy.

[kells76]

I was able to re-arrange my work schedule so I always have off when I have my son.  ExBPD didn't like this, even though it was my legal custody time she insisted that I shouldn't be able to spend this time with my son and tried to make excuses of how we are going to be fined, etc.

Seems typical of BPD-type behavior that when the non independently solves a problem or issue, the BPD-type person gets upset: "You weren't supposed to do that!" Almost as if "sticking to the exact plan" is mandatory as long as it supports the BPD's worldview and goals. For us, the kids' mom is selective about which authority figures have any say in her life. The kids' pediatrician was suddenly #1 for (ostensibly) telling her that they should self-quarantine for 2 weeks (probably didn't hear the whole story, sigh), but our state's family law board's guidelines about adhering to the parenting plan absent an actual positive corona test? Well, it's like they didn't exist.

This is a Michigan case.  Typically the working father there gets alternate weekends and ordered to pay child support and alimony, but maybe some fairness here in the appeal is since this is a marriage of two women?

I stumbled across this article on another site, and commentators there suspected something similar. Interesting how times change.

Also, if the link doesn't work for you, try copying it, pasting it in a new tab, and manually changing the "www." to "www."

Couldn't quite make that work embedded here... not very tech-y...