Silverhope,
I am sorry for what you are going through. I understand how you feel completely. My daughter’s illness has nearly destroyed our family and my resolve. I can totally relate to the explosive outbursts. I love it when my daughter isn’t home because when she is I’m just waiting for the next blow up and of course im the only one who reads about her illness, validates, etc. My husband just ignores her as much as he can and if he tries to help her it doesn’t work because he is the least empathetic person around. And my teen son just ignores and resents her for everything she’s done over the years.
So it’s pretty much me always baring the brunt of the meltdowns. I am her number one supporter but with Covid and all the ways our lives have turned upside down I’m barely coping with her and nearly at the end of my rope. To be fair she is too though we never got a proper diagnosis until Jan when she turned 18 and by then my daughter is just tired of her struggles and I don’t blame her. It’s just a terrible situation all the way around.
We do have a light at the end of our tunnel though. After her recent hospital stay (she took a bunch of pills)we can finally start proper DBT Therapy in the city 4 hours away. This had already been in the works then Covid put an immediate hold on it. Anyway they have resumed and we are set to do 4 individual treatments then it is a 24 week commitment. This is not covered by health care and I also have to alter my work hours etc.
I just had a talk with my daughter and said you have the next few weeks to decide if you are fully on board with this. If not I told her she has to either work or look into getting a youth agreement (she is always threatening that anyway and I am finally so beaten down that I have conceded).
I just told her you are my love and my life but if you aren’t interested in this help I have to draw the line because I (and especially her younger brother) can’t live like this anymore.
So of course she says she never wanted any of this
PLEASE READ anyway. Is it the BPD talking? I’ll likely find out tomorrow and we will just go from there. I’m just exhausted from her never recognizing all of the sacrifices I make and the turmoil she causes.
Anyway sorry to go on and on I just want you to know that you are not alone! I feel every bit of your pain (clearly I needed to vent). But look into DBT - whether or not my daughter embraces it, it is supposed to be the best therapy for our kids.
Take good care of yourself ((Hugs)