Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
June 15, 2024, 03:48:34 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: So it begins  (Read 356 times)
jefferson

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: married
Posts: 16


« on: December 03, 2020, 05:27:17 PM »

Today my daughter posted something nice on social media regarding mental illness. 
It said "never give up on someone with mental illness.  Replace the I with we and it becomes wellness"
As soon as I responded with just a heart, my phone rang. 
We had a good conversation (one of the first in months) regarding her current situation and then I believe the TRUE reason for calling was revealed. 
My husband and I assisted her ex husband with having her 2 children placed with him a couple months ago.   She completely blamed me for them being "taken" from her.  Now she is telling me that they are probably coming back in January. 
Soo, she asked if we would pay for them to get home.  They will need to fly from out of state.   Initially I told her that we had thought about helping the ex husband with this. 
I have since found out that while they have been away, the child support was not withheld and she has been taking the payments! 
Now I feel like I should not help with the cost of flights.  She hasnt had the kids at home to take care of and that money she was receiving should have been saved for this.  Instead Im sure she has been using it for her own needs and wants. 
Please give me some advice. 
Deep down I dont feel like they should be returned yet anyways.  She said she has been getting some counseling, and attending online alcohol classes but I am no fool.  I think she is only going through the steps to get her children home.  It was obvious she posted a picture from THE BAR recently.  Master manipulators right? 
UGH...
Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
beatricex
*****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 547


« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2020, 06:15:29 PM »

hi jefferson,
This is tough.  What I hate the most about this particular mental illness is the borderline can turn on and off the charm When They Want Something.  Agree, ugh.

It's not your job to fly the kids back to their mom, and it's also not your job to worry about her finances.

Nice that she called and was sweet, however. 

Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!