I need help

[Bronco]

Hello, my partner's daughter has BPD. She will be 21 this month, but still acts more like a 15 year old. She is on Lithium, that is when she remembers and can choke down the pills. They have tried this latest medication for about 4 weeks now. However, she's been on everything, and I feel like she is not getting the help she needs. I am trying not to resent my partner because I want him to do more to help her. She is miserable, suicidal most of the time. I love her so much, but I cannot help her. What other help is out there for her? She has a Dr. and a therapist, but they seem rather uninvolved. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[NorthernMom]

Hi there,

Not alot of experience myself as just learning about BPD and how my 17 (almost 18) year old daughter exhibits alot of the characteristics, but isn't (yet) diagnosed.  But after doing alot of reading, and listening to audio books, a couple things struck me to respond with:

- Nothing in anything I have read or watched (on this site or other materials) indicates BPD has a medication remedy.  The info suggests other complexities that the individual might be struggling with (i.e. anxiety) could have some relief with prescription treatment, but not the BPD on whole.  And with any complexities, the prescription may work, may work for a while and need adjusted, or changed out to another. It's really a journey.  Can take several weeks for any medication to show impacts but maybe it's not the medication but rather lack of counseling and coping skill development?...

- Sounds like this young person lacks advocacy.  From your excerpt, I say your role could be her biggest advocate. Fight for attention from the medical support that you say lacks commitment.  Change her doctors, change her psychiatrist and keep working to find the right combination that gives her hope that someone cares.  The mere act of showing her you want to take on the role to help her might make just enough of a difference to get her through another day.

Of course, taking care of yourself in this role is important and making sure you and her bio-parent are aligned.  Could write a whole new post on that.  I am a bio and bonus Mom in a blended family and the roles are different...but in this case, I would be putting on the gear and going to battle for her.

Hope this helps...