Introduction

[LeeWarden]

Hello Everyone,

I just found this site, and this is my first post.  My son, 20 was recently dx with BPD (comorbids incld mjr depression & anxiety).  He lives with me.  We have been through a lot (even prior to this development), including a 4 year separation while my ex husband was in Canada (Cdn citizen) with him and his brother, and I was in US. (US Citizen).  That's a long story, but suffice it to say it did a number on my son, and me for that matter.   
     My biggest concerns right now include sons' safety (suicide ideation), keeping his area of the house from being more torn up (from anger episodes), and how I respond to him. Plus taking care of self..  all the stuff you all are familiar with I'm sure.  I look forward to listening, sharing and learning.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi and welcome.  You are not alone here.  BPD rage episodes can be terrifying - Do you have any idea what his episodes are about?  A little thing that frustrates us can make a BPD go into a full blown tear.   
Here is some suggested reading from this forum:
https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict

https://bpdfamily.com/content/listen-with-empathy

https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating

As for the suicidal ideation, can you talk with him about it more- can you ask if he has a plan even?  When my son was younger I called the local county mental health crisis team to ask for help too.  Would your son be willing to talk to a crisis team over the phone?  Please keep us posted.