Really struggling

[Seedlady]

My 20 year old has struggled with her mental health since she was 7 years old.  She just recently was diagnosed with BPD but has been treated for bipolar disorder and anxiety for years. She is currently in residential treatmwnt.  I feel I am exhausted from this journey with her.  Today she blames me and my husband for having a toxic home.  That we hover over her.  Manipulate her and are holding her back.  She says this as reason why she doesn't want to live at home once discharged.  She has no other places she can live.  I'm so hurt and angry. 
Seed

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Seed   and welcome 

I'm so sorry you are struggling, you've been dealing with her mental health since a child and it's a recent BPD diagnosis. It's hard not to take it personally, I'd feel hurt and angry too! Is your DD engaging with the treatment? I recall a father here who described how the professionals at the residential centre said his DD18 had to 'jump the fence' to help herself. She did in time jump the fence but that run up to the fence was excruciating for the family. What led to the BPD diagnosis Seed, did something happen?

Glad you've joined us for support.

WDx

[Seedlady]

Thank you for the welcome WDx.  My daughter is complex and it's a long history.  She is working hard in treatment.  It kinda came out of the blue today.  She didn't even wish me Happy Mother's Day just went on about how she was talking with her therapist and reflecting on a relationship as her horoscope said.  Her illness has consumed me for so long.  I'm angry that I let it happen.  I'm hoping my not communicating for a while will help me.  I'm not sure that I'm cut out for this journey.  I've been compassionate and understanding for years.  My daughter doesn't have the capacity to see how she affects other people.  She only sees her perspective and everyone has wronged her.  She has very few friends and limited contact with family members.  It's just sad. Plus I'm not sure she will live as she is always turning to self harm and suicide to cope.   Seed