Mom taking advantage of guy

[Our abuse recovery guide]

My mother is living with a guy she has kept in orbit for roughly 20 years, while she dated many many other men.
He's a really good guy. And hate to say it, he deserves better.
My mother recently told me that she is in his will as the sole inheritor, and I am in there second if she is not there to claim.
I want nothing to do with this. I like the guy and hate what she has done to him.

Frankly not sure how to do anything to change this situation. Maybe others have a view point I don't (point of this post).

If nothing else, I will donate what is left to me from his estate. I just don't want it and would prefer this guy does better for himself. Maybe it is better this way, my Mother being 60 and he a few years younger and retired. Maybe this is what makes them happy at this point in their lives?
I do love my Mom, just know how she uses people.

[naguma]

My mother is living with a guy she has kept in orbit for roughly 20 years, while she dated many many other men.
He's a really good guy. And hate to say it, he deserves better.
My mother recently told me that she is in his will as the sole inheritor, and I am in there second if she is not there to claim.
I want nothing to do with this. I like the guy and hate what she has done to him.

Frankly not sure how to do anything to change this situation. Maybe others have a view point I don't (point of this post).

If nothing else, I will donate what is left to me from his estate. I just don't want it and would prefer this guy does better for himself. Maybe it is better this way, my Mother being 60 and he a few years younger and retired. Maybe this is what makes them happy at this point in their lives?
I do love my Mom, just know how she uses people.

[Notwendy]

I also thought my father deserved better. It appeared that he gave a lot and my BPD mother didn't return much love or affection. Actually, she didn't seem to do much, and she treated him poorly. He worked hard to support her and left her with enough to live well in her elder years after he died. I didn't expect anything material, it's upsetting that she just seemed entitled to everything he did and gave her, not appreciative.

But after looking into the dynamics of this relationship, I don't see my father as the unwilling victim. I think that both people get something out of this kind of relationship. This guy has been with your mother for 20 years. He's getting something out of it too.

It seems your mother and her partner are still fairly young and a lot can change before any inheritance is likely. In the event you do inherit anything, perhaps there's something that can be done with the money that would bring honor to her partner. I guess he doesn't have children to leave it to. Maybe donate it to a scholarship fund at his college, or to a charity of his choice. If in the event you need it, don't feel bad about what may have been his willing gift, but if you don't, I am sure there's some organization or charity that can put it to good use.

[Methuen]

It sounds like you are working your way thru this naguma.  I hear all that hat you are saying  but I wouldn’t intervene in any way.  I have nothing to add to what Notwendy already said so well.