53 Year Old Daughter Vindictive and Frightening

[everydaydeco]

My daughter has ups and downs still, though it's been about 5 years since the last period of mania.  She is 53, I am 81. We live in the same town.
She is planning a really perilous course: to marry a man she has only met online and he is in Morocco!  As I said, she is 53, but I didn't say that he is 29.
I had the nerve to say that I wonder what he thinks about not having children...she went off and stormed out. I ruined her life, I have never been encouraging ( probably true, because so many projects were bat s..t crazy like this one)
But the thing this time that really has me worried is a post she put on Facebook the next day. We are FB friends so she knows that I will see it.
It's the lyrics to a song...I'll just include the first and last parts to save time:

To the end of the Earth, I'll search for your face
For the one who laid all of our beauty to waste
Threw our hope into Hell and our children into the fire
I am the one who crawled through the wire
I am the one who crawled through the wire...

I know a cold as cold as it gets
I fight a war, I may never see one
I live only to see you live to regret
Everything that you done
Everything that you done
Everything that you done

She repeated this post on Twitter...and she knows I will be notified about both of these posts..

I'm actually afraid of her. I was a poor mother, having been raised in a truly insane scapegoating environment.  Given my models, it's a wonder either of us survived her childhood. She knows because she has witnessed my tears, that I am so so sorry for any harm I did her. I never intended to hurt her.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[normal person]

As long as she doesn't decide to fly all the way to Morocco , its okay.

Sounds very BPD, not much you can do unless she wants help and counselling.

[Sancho]

I can understand why you find this post worrying. Has your daughter been physically violent in the past or has she been verbally abusive and threatening?

My BPD dd says really threatening things at times, and I have to say I feel very vulnerable and concerned at times for my safety. There are a couple of things I do when I feel this way:

First of all I give her a lot of space. Bpd people have intense emotional periods and can then move out of it very quickly if given space.

Next I sit down and think about what COULD happen and how I would deal with it. For example, at times I have made sure I have my phone with me at all times - even if I am just going to the bathroom. I know I will be able to contact someone or police if needed.

The other thing I do is make sure I have told someone about my concerns. Do you have someone close to where you live that understands your situation?

Hopefully your daughter will move on from this intense reaction. Please post again soon to let us know how things are.

[Oceanfish]

She sounds like a former friend of mine. That woman would fly off to meet men she met online. She's also extremely volatile and I had to step away from an entire circle of friends to avoid her wrath.
You can unfollow or unfriend or even block her on social media. That might give you some peace.