Breakingpoint, here are success stories:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=113820.0They have certain things in common, not least that the pwBPD accepts the diagnosis and is actively working to improve for their own sake, not to save the relationship.
And that the non works on themselves for the same reason. Me, I think the key to detachment is accepting that I have to change. No fault seeking, indeed I think we are far too prone to beat up on ourselves. Merely accepting that this thing is bigger than us, we can't control it. But we can control ourselves. So I work on my boundaries, day after day it gets better.