New to Group Looking for Advice

[Witsend13]

Although not officially diagnosed our 19 year old daughter if not BPD has many of the traits of BPD and could clearly benefit from treatments that have been effective for BPD.  She is home with us since the start of the Pandemic and the isolation of the pandemic has clearly intensified her symptoms and are now really coming to a head as things open back up.  Although she has a Psycologist and and a Therapist at least the therapist has admitted that the issues are beyond her capability.  All have suggested she needs a "Higher level of Care".  We have broached the subject of a residential program with her and although she did not completely dismiss it she started pushing holes in the idea.  The only one that seemed a little relevant was when she compared the idea going to the residential to how she felt when dropped off at college. (something we did not know at the time)  That feeling of abandonment that is so core too BPD.  We want her to be accepting of treatment and realize that if "forced" to a residential treatment facility she may shut down and not be open to treatment.  We are looking for guidance from some of you that have been down this road.   Was residential treatment effective or at least helpful?  If so looking for recommended facilities that specialize in DBT and other appropriate BPD treatments that were effective.  One big plus of the residential is the 30-45 day "vacation" we get from this Hell we live in, but realize we may pay the price if it is not effective when she returns worse. There is a local IOP that is DBT based for young adults and we know given a choice, although she does not really want to do either, she would pick the IOP but if we go there we may never get her in residential.  Also looking for advice on how to find a local Therapist with BPD skills.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi,
 My son was in residential for a couple of years back in 09-'12.   It helped him with personal hygiene, how to do laundry and life skills.  I credit this time in getting him through high school and college.  I believe it saved his life and mine , and I mean that literally.   He has since fallen apart again after graduating college, but that is another story for another time. 

Since this was back a few years, I don't really know if he had a DBT therapist or not.  I live in Maryland.   If you live in the states, your local mental health crisis center could have a list of therapists and whether or not they have BPD skills.