Teen Officially diagnosed with bpd-need advice

[Momtotwo]

Hello-my 16yo has been seeing a therapist about 8 mo who has suspected she has a personality disorder.  About 2 wks ago my child came to me after cutting her wrist and said she wanted to die. She was admitted for 11 nights & diagnosed with bpd. 
It incredibly describes so many of her behaviors! In a way a relief.  But not many outside my husband and I see these behaviors, except one other family we are close to (& one is a counselor).

Child is enrolled for dpt.  Is on an antidepressant. 
I have SO many questions.
But to start what do you do about the claims of being abused?
For instance today my mom called me asking if we ever locked our child in the garage without food and water. I wanted to laugh and cry.  I said no mom. 
My child works at my brothers restaurant.  She told people there this story.  My brother asked my mom if it’s true.
Our dtr was found with a phone today ( says she bought it but she hasn’t been out of our sight this week and it first showed up on our wifi last night after me letting her visit at her job-so I think they gave  her the phone)
What do you do?

My kid can not have access to the internet or apps.  She engages in extreme setting snd gives her address to these people.  She’s going to get hurt.

She steals from us (takes our debit and buys very inappropriate “lingerie”.  Takes my clothes and cuts them up. Has been telling so many people we abuse her.  Gets in a relationship heavily and burns it out quickly.  Burns relationships  with friends -she’s accused others of saying they commit suicide if they break up on social media when it’s not true etc.

No idea how to parent & navigate this.  It’s all spiraling down quickly.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome!  It appears she is in therapy , and good for you !   Parenting a BPD child is excruitiating and very difficult.   You are not alone and we are glad you added us to your network of support.    False accusations are very painful, but unfortunately all a part of the BPD experience.

I believe you are doing all you can- you have addressed the accusations with your family and have stopped her from plugging into social media( for how long?).   Can you talk to your daughter's therapist since she is a minor child?

 How I cope is I also have my own therapist .  In addition I go to online 12 step program meetings for families ( like Nar-anon, or co dependents anonymous).  These programs help with keeping the focus back on us.  Please write back as you are able.