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Topic: Surgery for Mom (Read 1362 times)
todayistheday
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
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Surgery for Mom
«
on:
September 21, 2021, 03:29:02 PM »
Mom is 84 and has been having periods again. Now she is getting a hysterectomy. Including Fallopian tubes and ovaries and some lymph nodes.
Any chance this will make her nicer (or meaner) or have any effect with the ovaries being taken?
She's a very bad hospital patient. Not looking forward to the days after. I will go there just to try to help my Dad.
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* I use hBPD rather than uBPD. My Mom has not been evaluated for BPD, but I have a professional hypothesis from a therapist who I discussed the relationship with. She assigned me the eggshells book. At the next meeting when I told her how many things in the book were Mom, therapist was certain.
Methuen
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Re: Surgery for Mom
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Reply #1 on:
September 21, 2021, 06:16:27 PM »
In my experience with my mom, she gets meaner, and more impossible, because of the stress of the situation, and also because she's somewhere she doesn't want to be. My mom's reason for being in hospital was a "fall" and fractures. I suspect she has a phobia of any kind of "institution".
My wish for you is that your mom is a better patient than my mom. Hopefully some alone time with your dad will be a silver lining.
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Woolspinner2000
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Relationship status: Divorced
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Re: Surgery for Mom
«
Reply #2 on:
September 21, 2021, 07:57:16 PM »
Hi
todayistheday
,
It's hard to say how the surgery will affect your mom. She may have some issues initially from the anesthesia and any pain meds, but that should pass within a short amount of time. As to the hormone side of it, her doctor will hopefully address it, if anything needs to be adjusted medication wise for her. Only time will tell. One can only hope for the best!
Hang in there!
Wools
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There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. -C.S. Lewis
GaGrl
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Re: Surgery for Mom
«
Reply #3 on:
September 21, 2021, 08:09:29 PM »
Do you know if the surgery is a laparoscopy orcs traditional incision? If laporoscopic, the hospital stay and recuperation will be much shorter.
Theories would have stopped producing significant levels of estrogen and progesterone at menopause, s o the hormonal effect should not be significant.
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
todayistheday
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Re: Surgery for Mom
«
Reply #4 on:
September 25, 2021, 01:09:21 PM »
She is always a terrible patient.
Anesthesia always gets to her.
Talked to her today and she seems depressed. Said she thinks she will have to go to a nursing home after. She also sais something about my Dad not being able to take care of her.
I didn't play her game and argue or say that I would take care of her. It was all I could do to not say "pick one out."
I did tell her that if she thinks that she needs to research it and figure out where.
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* I use hBPD rather than uBPD. My Mom has not been evaluated for BPD, but I have a professional hypothesis from a therapist who I discussed the relationship with. She assigned me the eggshells book. At the next meeting when I told her how many things in the book were Mom, therapist was certain.
Woolspinner2000
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Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 2012
Re: Surgery for Mom
«
Reply #5 on:
September 25, 2021, 02:48:08 PM »
Good for you! Empowering her and not enabling her. Well done!
I think the anesthesia can often be a downer. Just the effects of it.
Wools
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There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. -C.S. Lewis
GaGrl
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Re: Surgery for Mom
«
Reply #6 on:
September 25, 2021, 06:46:36 PM »
How soon is the surgery?
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
todayistheday
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Re: Surgery for Mom
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Reply #7 on:
September 25, 2021, 10:44:55 PM »
Its in 2 weeks.
In 3 past surgeries for her and one for Dad, I went and helped. Mostly for Dad's sake. Somehow, enmeshed sister who lives next door was never able to help due to work and parenting. Now, retired and youngest child living in own place. I live a comfortable few hours away.
Sister is her designated helper at hospital for this one.
I'll go keep Dad company while they are at hospital, but coming back home as soon as possible.
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* I use hBPD rather than uBPD. My Mom has not been evaluated for BPD, but I have a professional hypothesis from a therapist who I discussed the relationship with. She assigned me the eggshells book. At the next meeting when I told her how many things in the book were Mom, therapist was certain.
Turkish
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Dad to my wolf pack
Re: Surgery for Mom
«
Reply #8 on:
September 26, 2021, 11:39:23 PM »
It didn't change her personality, but my mom was cool with this surgery. I was the one who drove 120 miles to be with her. Previously, she had complained about how my ex complained about how she reeked off cigarettes, animal waste and mildew. But she appreciated how the hospital cleaned her up and realized that her clothes reeked. After she was discharged, she went back to her hoard, and wouldn't accept any comments about how she smelled so badly.
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