Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
November 12, 2024, 04:26:13 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
81
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Getting CPS to act  (Read 768 times)
BigOof
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Never-ending divorce
Posts: 376



« on: December 19, 2021, 10:42:51 AM »

CPS communicated to me they would categorize our child as high-risk if the false allegations continue. I've gotten two unfounded and one not established categorizations so far.

Has anybody gotten CPS to step in when it comes to false allegations and the damage they do to the child?
Logged
ForeverDad
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18455


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2021, 02:33:05 PM »

The specific guidelines and policies vary a bit between jurisdictions and states.  I recall back in 2005 I called my CPS and twice the ladies asked whether the incidents had been focused on my preschooler.  I had to answer that she had been berating and disparaging me but he was exposed to the incidents.  (I remember him hiding behind the couch, another time cringing underneath a table and another time lying prone on the floor.)  Both times they told me to call back when she was ranting and  raging at him.

So my state evidently allowed exposure to DV but not when it morphed into child abuse territory.  The bar is rather high for it to be "actionable".

There was an allegation I learned about that I was told was closed without any details whatsoever, many others that they later closed and one that they interviewed both me and my son who was by then at school in kindergarten.  Never more than "unsubstantiated".  In my experience it's hard to get the investigators to confirm "unfounded" which is legalese for "liar".
Logged

zachira
Ambassador
********
Online Online

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 3386


« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2021, 03:03:29 PM »

For many years in different jobs I held, I was a mandated reporter for CPS. In my experience, CPS does not keep its employees because few people can take the stress of having to work so directly and so intensely with child abuse as the work at CPS entails. Over and over again, I found myself working with new employees who lacked the experience to do their jobs properly. Eventually I found an employee who had worked at CPS for years and I called her directly whenever I had a case, and got good results. You can always ask to speak with a supervisor, and if that supervisor does not seem to be competent you can ask to speak with the person who supervises him/her. I think the best strategy is to ask around and find out who are the employees that do the best work at CPS in your area. There are plenty of mandated reporters, which include anybody who works directly with children, who might be able to give you some recommendations to who you might want to speak with at CPS. My experience with CPS is after too many unfounded accusations of child abuse, they don't do much about the complaints, just the minimum they are required to do. I realize it is traumatizing for your child to be interviewed about child abuse every time there is a report.
Logged

BigOof
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Never-ending divorce
Posts: 376



« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2021, 03:13:21 PM »

CE reported BPD to CPS for DV. Let's see if CPS act...
Logged
alterK
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: separated
Posts: 211


« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2021, 04:06:24 PM »

I worked in the ER for many years and had many dealings with CPS. Zachira is right to say that the experience and quality of workers varies greatly. Also, many services are overwhelmed with demands—covid doesn’t help—may not be able to give each case the attention it deserves, and so may tend to make  hasty judgements. Sad, but true.

Z’s advice is good. Try to talk directly with someone competent and experienced enough to be able to listen. An seasoned CPS worker will know about false reporting and will realize they need to do more investigating, but don’t expect them to understand BPD.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!