So hard

[lovesHIM]

  how is it that he can't even consider that he's NOT ok? He won't seek help.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[By Still Water]

Hello and welcome, lovesHIM,
    Might you tell us more about your situation and the loved one with BPD?  Are you referring to your son? 

[Sancho]

Hi LovesHIm
I saw a presentation once given by a doctor whose brother was schizophrenic. The brothers had grown up very close to each other. The doctor brother couldn't understand why the other kept going off his medication and causing chaos and not realising what was happening. Then he came to understand that this lack of insight was part of the mental illness itself.

It is unbelievably frustrating and also can make one feel cornered - ie you are left as the only one carrying the load of the other's pain and dysfunction.

At the point where you have done/said all that you can, time to focus on yourself a little.