Cps reported on me by my alienated daughter

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Today was a sad day as my daughter called CPS on me. She called CPS based on neglect of the kids at home. CPS officials visited my four kids in school.  I had the interview with CPS this afternoon and they took all of 2 minutes and said it would be unsubstantiated.  

The daughter who called it on me is 21 years old. She's threatened to call CPS on me earlier this summer for a different reason. She is an extension of my exbpdwife and does not talk with me. ... Severe alienation.

 I'm concerned because it is my 11-year-old daughter who lives with me knew she called CPS.  I am having a really hard time with knowing my actions are being monitored and then reported and stoked by the older daughter.  I am saddened because this interview sows seeds of doubt into my other kids about my parenting and my fatherhood.   This is the fifth or sixth CPS accusation I've had in the last 6 years. They all have been unsubstantiated.  

Been 6 years since separation/divorce,  but to my ex her anger is like  the divorce happened yesterday.

Sluggo

[Sluggo]

Today was a sad day as my daughter called CPS on me. She called CPS based on neglect of the kids at home. CPS officials visited my four kids in school.  I had the interview with CPS this afternoon and they took all of 2 minutes and said it would be unsubstantiated.  

The daughter who called it on me is 21 years old. She's threatened to call CPS on me earlier this summer for a different reason. She is an extension of my exbpdwife and does not talk with me. ... Severe alienation.

 I'm concerned because it is my 11-year-old daughter who lives with me knew she called CPS.  I am having a really hard time with knowing my actions are being monitored and then reported and stoked by the older daughter.  I am saddened because this interview sows seeds of doubt into my other kids about my parenting and my fatherhood.   This is the fifth or sixth CPS accusation I've had in the last 6 years. They all have been unsubstantiated.  

Been 6 years since separation/divorce,  but to my ex her anger is like  the divorce happened yesterday.

Sluggo

[BigOof]

This is alienation 101 with flying monkeys. Try reading:

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Amy-Baker-2/publication/265450917_Beyond_the_High_Road_Responding_to_17_Parental_Alienation_Strategies_without_Compromising_Your_Morals_or_Harming_Your_Child/links/56a8b07e08ae0fd8b4000ead/Beyond-the-High-Road-Responding-to-17-Parental-Alienation-Strategies-without-Compromising-Your-Morals-or-Harming-Your-Child.pdf

And read as many books on alienation as you can. I recommend starting with Bill Eddy's:

https://www.amazon.com/Alienate-Resilient-Children-Avoiding-Conflict/dp/1936268035

I've been through 4 CPS investigations at this point. I feel your pain.

[Turkish]

Ugh, that is scary. What did they say about the previous unsubstantiated calls? Or were they "by the book" in attitude? My single adult/parent interaction with them frightened me as the social worker told me that she had the power to take the kids, as if I didn't already know that.

[Sluggo]

Thanks Big oof.  I had not seen that article before so I really appreciate it that's chalked full of good meaty material. 

I do have that book but bought it a long time ago and only glimpsed through it then.  I will pull that out again.  Thank you! 

Sorry about your never ending saga.  It is disruptive and emotionally draining. 

Sluggo

[Sluggo]

Ugh, that is scary. What did they say about the previous unsubstantiated calls? Or were they "by the book" in attitude? My single adult/parent interaction with them frightened me as the social worker told me that she had the power to take the kids, as if I didn't already know that.
[/quot

Turkish,

They were very good...  the first thing they said to me that they already spoke with kids at the school and there are no issues.    They asked me what my routine was in the morning with the kids. After that they took pictures of my refrigerator running water and the bedrooms.

I did ask them about multiple CPS reports and they said that they do screen them out if they start seeing them multiple times  and they've been out to the house. 

I assume I should give my lawyer a heads up on this just to put in her files?

So sorry to hear that Turkish it is very scary to realize how much power they have over claims that can be made against us that have


Sluggo

[ForeverDad]

They were very good...  the first thing they said to me that they already spoke with kids at the school and there are no issues.

I had many allegations thrown at me in the early years of divorce, mostly "my son told me...", but there was one time before the trial date where they called me in.  And they told me just as the above, "we already spoke with your son at school."  Apparently they view school as neutral ground, neither ex's time nor my time, even though my ex was the one who drove him to school and picked him up.

By then I was peeved that every allegation was getting made, discounted and then closed.  I asked for a statement of the outcome.  It was the first and only time CPS sent me a document, very generic but it stated "unsubstantiated".  Never did any court or professional describe them as the stronger "unfounded".

I concluded they perceived a tall stack of "unsubstantiated" closures could one day have a "substantiated" pop up.  That was what was scary to me.

I assume I should give my lawyer a heads up on this just to put in her files?

Yes.  Over time our memory of details will fade, especially we who have been whipsawed back and forth and trained to forget for so many years.

[Sluggo]

Yes.  Over time our memory of details will fade, especially we who have been whipsawed back and forth and trained to forget for so many years

Why is that?  Because it is true...  The bad feelings just seem to leave memory so quickly until a similar event then triggers the feelings again.

[I Am Redeemed]

Remind me if your kids are in therapy? I ask because one thing that can deter CPS involvement is if the children are involved with third party professionals who already "have eyes on the children/family" and are mandated reporters who would report if they suspected anything.

When CPS reports are made, it's good to have a counselor that is familiar with the children to add their input. It also shows that the parent in question has nothing to hide, because people who are neglecting or abusing their children generally don't want outside services involved as it poses the risk of bad behavior coming into the light.