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[BrokenMomof3]

Hello, this is about my daughter who has been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and then OCD. She had been taking Lexapro for almost 10 years. Two times she tried to get off those meds and ended up in psyche ward.
Since January she decided to get off the meds at her own because she did not want anything synthetic in her body, she tapered off the med. Her medi-cal isn't approved yet, she is 26 yrs old. So it is hard to get her to go see a psychiatrist, especially when she  is away from home living by herself.

So lots of things has been off since January, but I was giving her benefit of doubt to understand her own needs & listen to her own body/mind. Her younger sister was very upset when she heard of her going off meds. When her sister expressed her fears of her getting in the psyche ward again & possibly loosing her, she snapped at her. Since then her sister hasn't responded to her texts/calls. It has been couple of weeks since their phone conversation.

Yesterday, after talking normal stuff with me over the phone, she asked me how her younger sister is doing. I told her she is fine. She insisted that I was lying to her, her sister is not alive and I am not telling her the truth. I brought her attention to her OCD that is making her assume the worse. I also told her that I am not reassuring your OCD, please have faith and use your coping skills to focus on positive and check the facts. She called me world's worse names for lying to her ( we otherwise have very sweet mother-daughter relationship). I shared with her my younger daughter's insta activity to ensure that she is alive, happy and healthy.

She was quite whole night, this morning again she called at 4am and repeated the same story. Luckily her sister texted me this morning from NYC and also in the group text where both sisters are connected. She still thinks it is not enough for her to believe her sister is alive. It is heart breaking to see her in this 'evil' state of mind.

Is it OCD or BPD? Thank you in advance.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

Hello BrokenMomof3, welcome to the boards 

It sounds beyond stressful to find yourself in the middle of your two daughters, one of whom seems to have some delusions about the other. Delusions and paranoia can be difficult to work with -- as "normal" people, we believe that if we can just prove that the delusion isn't true, that the person will be content. Like you're experiencing, that isn't the case.

Some members here have loved ones with BPD which tends towards paranoia/paranoid delusions. Many of the delusions seemed to fly in the face of reason, facts, evidence, and logic. Fortunately, many of those members were able to learn different ways to interact with their love ones' delusions, and have had some success in "not fanning the flames". So, when you ask "is it BPD or OCD", it's possible that this is a manifestation of BPD (the paranoid side), though I'm not an official mental health expert, so it's not a diagnosis.

A great place to start when you have a loved one coping with delusions could be Dr. Xavier Amador's work -- he published a book called I am Not Sick I Don't Need Help! which might be a good fit for your situation. We also have an article about Anosognosia and Getting a "Borderline" into Therapy which might resonate with you -- Dr. Amador's work shows up there, too, and there's even a brief video.

Your care for your D and your desire for her to be balanced, grounded, and well, really shows up in your post. While it might be a long road, it is very possible to learn some new and different ways of interacting, that can be just that for your family -- balanced, grounded, and well.

Keep us posted on your thoughts about the articles and video, and how you're doing in general;

kells76

[BrokenMomof3]

Thank you, Kells76. I will read those books and also talk with her doc about it.

[kells76]

Just checking in... how have you guys been doing lately?

[BrokenMomof3]

Hi Kells76, thanks for checking in on me. I posted another thread https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=355508.0 with the latest.

Yesterday I called the hospital for Psyche ward where she was admitted. I came to know that she is still in ER. I spoke with the ER nurse & found out that she is stable and I could see her (with her permission). Though they have my number to call for any information, I don't want my daughter to rely on me for her recovery.

She may or may not remember what she did in her mania state of mind, but it has changed my relationship with her forever. I am scared that without understanding/accepting whatever the diagnosis she has this time, she can again refuse to take medication and repeat the cycle.

I am reading a lot on BPD & trying to put two and two together of what happened in my marriage of 30 years. What might have triggered for our daughter to get this sick.

I have my own therapist for last 3 years; I hope to find more answers in future and ways to maneuver thru this dreadful times.