Husband in hospital is trying to manipulate his way out

[MustangLove]

I was able to convince my husband with BPD to go to get help at a hospital. He was suicidal the day he went. By the next morning he was trying to convince me that he was fine and was ready to come home. So, I called the hospital and asked them if he was able to sign himself out. They told me no, that the doctor was ready to court order him to be there. I have no idea what he is telling them, but he is telling me daily that they are going to release him the next day. He is begging me not to give up on him and in the same call he is accusing me of telling them to keep him there. Aside from the false accusations the other thing really bothering me is that they changed his diagnosis to Bipolar but said today on the phone that as time goes on they are starting to see the BPD behaviors. He has twice now received a BPD diagnosis by a psychiatrist and twice been given a bipolar diagnosis by a psychiatrist. I asked them how he is supposed to confront his patterns and tendencies of the BPD if he is constantly being told different diagnosis'. I would think they would want to get the correct diagnosis and center his treatment on what therapy works best for the current behaviors he is exhibiting. I was told in my psychology class that it is difficult to diagnose a personality disorder without input from a person who is in a close relationship with the person seeking treatment. So, I would think that they would want my input. But just about everywhere he has gone for help does not let me in the room when they evaluate him. So they need outside input for the diagnosis but won't allow my input. I'm so frustrated with the process, and being accused of things I am not doing. I'm tempted to not answer his calls tonight. But, that would just strengthen his fear of abandonment and I feel like the clingy behavior would get much worse and he would need even more reassurance. Not sure what to do. 

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[Chief Drizzt]

Yep - it’s been my experience as well.  My wife tried committing suicide back in February after a huge melt-down in front of our grown kids and myself.  I practically begged the hospital to keep her longer than they did - or transfer her to another facility where she could get long term treatment.  I was ignored.  I kept asking to speak to her doctor but never got a call.  My wife probably put the hospital on notice not to speak to me and every time I spoke to her she told me they were going to let her go home.  She wound up being in there for a week.  In my wife’s case she didn’t get a diagnosis of anything.  It’s definitely frustrating.