No insight

[gothope]

My son, age 33, has many symptoms of BPD, and after many years of raging and angry behavior towards me, I have had to set firm boundaries. He has a 5 year old daughter and is only allowed supervised visitations, he has lost several jobs and friends, and takes no responsibility. I am reading books, have attended support groups, but I am at a loss as to what I can do so that he can get some insight and treatment. It is heartbreaking.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi Gothope
Yes it is so heart breaking - and exhausting, and sad. I am glad you have the strength to set some boundaries because it is such a rollercoaster ride with BPD it is sometimes hard to clearly see what we need to do to look after ourselves as we deal with all this.

The thinking patterns of the BPD person are pretty different to others. The lack of insight can just blow you away! We are faced with accusations that are clearly absurd, and in my case, dd so often makes statements that take my breath away, they are so unreal.

It helps me knowing that this serious condition can take someone in and out of reality - and they have a strong belief that whatever they think is the truth.

I hope you are able to find out more about BPD - it does make a difference. I also find coming here is a great help. There are folk out there going through the same thing as I am!! I am not alone.

Thank you for posting . . .

[kells76]

Hello gothope, I'd like to add my voice in welcoming you to the group.

It's difficult coming to the realization that lack of insight can be a feature of BPD -- not an accidental coincidence. Like Sancho mentioned:

It helps me knowing that this serious condition can take someone in and out of reality - and they have a strong belief that whatever they think is the truth.

While for more "biological" or "structural" issues such as schizophrenia or TBI, the lack of insight may have a physical cause (I think I have heard that brain lesions or damage can impact ability to have self-insight), to the best of my knowledge there is no obvious physical cause for lack of insight with BPD. However, the way it comes across can be similar, which is why we recommend Dr. Xavier Amador's book called I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help!. Even though it was written with schizophrenia in mind, the communication tools and approaches may help when the loved one in your life has BPD.

We also have an article on Anosognosia and Getting a "Borderline" into Therapy, which touches on some similar issues.

How is your relationship with your S33 currently? How about with your GD5?