Reflection and Re-Introduction From a Changed Man

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It’s been many years since I’ve posted here, and for those who remember me, however vaguely, hello again. I am sorry for my absence. But, also, grateful. It has been nearly 6 years since I began my journey away from my BPD relationship and so many things have changed it’s hard to know where to begin.

Maybe I should start with where I am today. I have a wonderful, healthy, happy 10yo who continues to be my guiding light. I (cordially) share custody and with minimal exceptions, the arrangement has been successfully adhered to since the settlement some 5 years ago. I would love to take on more than the current 50/50 time, but for now, it’s working.

I am coming up on the 1 year anniversary of a new, wonderful, loving, successful relationship with someone who is so different in so many ways that I often wonder if it’s real. I go to sleep each night and wake up each day with the same person, never wondering if another shoe will drop, or if I’ll have to spend another day care taking instead of taking care of myself and all that’s important to us. To say that I am lucky and grateful for all that I have is an understatement. I have truly found a different life that I never expected I’d find all those years ago when I was at my lowest points.

I came back tonight to say thank you. And hello again. I see so many people here in the shoes I was in and I would like to offer my help, my thoughts, and all the support I can give. It gets better. I promise. And if there’s anything I can do to help you find your path forward, I will.

More soon.

-DaddyBear77

[DaddyBear77]

It’s been many years since I’ve posted here, and for those who remember me, however vaguely, hello again. I am sorry for my absence. But, also, grateful. It has been nearly 6 years since I began my journey away from my BPD relationship and so many things have changed it’s hard to know where to begin.

Maybe I should start with where I am today. I have a wonderful, healthy, happy 10yo who continues to be my guiding light. I (cordially) share custody and with minimal exceptions, the arrangement has been successfully adhered to since the settlement some 5 years ago. I would love to take on more than the current 50/50 time, but for now, it’s working.

I am coming up on the 1 year anniversary of a new, wonderful, loving, successful relationship with someone who is so different in so many ways that I often wonder if it’s real. I go to sleep each night and wake up each day with the same person, never wondering if another shoe will drop, or if I’ll have to spend another day care taking instead of taking care of myself and all that’s important to us. To say that I am lucky and grateful for all that I have is an understatement. I have truly found a different life that I never expected I’d find all those years ago when I was at my lowest points.

I came back tonight to say thank you. And hello again. I see so many people here in the shoes I was in and I would like to offer my help, my thoughts, and all the support I can give. It gets better. I promise. And if there’s anything I can do to help you find your path forward, I will.

More soon.

-DaddyBear77

[ForeverDad]

Wow, so great to hear from you and that your life has changed so positively!


Is anyone here keeping track of the success stories?  I hope so.

[Notwendy]

I remember you DaddyBear. I am happy for you that things worked out so well for you.

For me, the issue that I turn to the boards for now is for support and guidance with managing my BPD mother who is at an advanced age. There are several of us in this situation on the "parent, or sibling" with BPD board and it's helpful to communicate with others in similar situations.

I post in other boards when I hope that I have something to share that can help others with their situations. Situations can be different, pwBPD are different too- and it's a spectrum. The dynamics of these relationships though can be remarkably similar.

It's good to hear your 10 year old is doing well. Having you as a stable role model can make a world of difference. It makes a difference to a child to have emotional support at any age and you are there for your child.

It's wonderful to hear your success story. Thanks for sharing.

[PeteWitsend]

It's nice to get updates from people who have been through it.  I didn't post about my own situation while going through it on the off chance my ex figured it out (if you want something to stay secret keep it yourself!)

It's also wonderful you've been able to co-parent cordially... that may be the most impressive part.  In fact you might be the only person I've ever seen post here that has NOT had co-parenting issues with their BPDex