Hello Bdx4365 and a warm
"Fortunately", no diagnosis of your partner is necessary to join here and learn new tools and skills. I've mentioned this in a couple of other posts here, but the issues we have aren't what the label or diagnosis is, it's the behaviors -- no matter what the behaviors are or aren't called.
A broad support structure and willingness to try new, unintuitive approaches can be key for trying to make changes in your relationship. And, "fortunately" again, you don't need your W's cooperation, approval, or agreement, for you to start learning about
better ways to relate to her.
I hear you that she wasn't interested in MC... do you have an individual counselor of your own?
How many kids do you have, and how old are they? Do any of them seem aware of the conflicts?
And would you say that the main issue for you is the constant stream of criticism, or maybe something else?
Fill us in -- we're here to walk alongside you.