Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
January 27, 2021, 02:07:59 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1] 2 3  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Quotes From Your BPD During The End  (Read 7578 times)
TheSomberlain
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 276

aka "Somber"


« on: March 05, 2011, 08:50:15 AM »

Reading the similar projections and quotes from our BPDs during the relationship was pretty entertaining to say the least. What are some of the things they said during the end of your relationship or when you were painted black?

Mine said some pretty hurtful projections including:

"You never loved me"

"I was just a commodity to you"

She started to ignore my texts and calls and stated that "I left her" which confused the hell out of me. Anybody else experience that it always has to be YOU that leaves them even if they are in fact the ones that left?
Logged

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
BreadHead
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 268



« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2011, 09:20:12 AM »

I was the one to leave but the thing he repeated over and over again at the very end last night was "I was good to you, you know I was. I tried."

I am sure it was in response to me flat out saying that I didn't know why he couldn't love me right and all I wanted was honesty.  Also me saying how I just kept giving and treating him well and just wanted that in return. 

He handled it pretty well, wasn't nasty and wished me well but just kept saying "you know I treated you well, I was good to you and you know it"

Logged
boatman
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 317



« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2011, 09:32:15 AM »

Excerpt
Mine said some pretty hurtful projections including:

"You never loved me"

"I was just a commodity to you"

She started to ignore my texts and calls and stated that "I left her" which confused the hell out of me. Anybody else experience that it always has to be YOU that leaves them even if they are in fact the ones that left?

Hmm- my ex never said those things. I felt that way regarding her behavior toward me. I still wonder all the time if she was capable of loving anyone. I also felt like I was an object filling a scripted role for her in her life.
Logged

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
Dalai Lama
Overcomingbpd
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced after 2 years
Posts: 584



« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2011, 10:14:24 AM »

I think we are all characters in their madness play. Our characters develop but the script never changes.  Once our character doesn't fit their role they fire us and "hire" a new one.
Logged
Strong Again
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 393


« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2011, 10:34:33 AM »

"I love you soo much; we're going to get married and I'm going to have your baby; it's the greatest bond two people in love can have with eachother" Next morning: "My instinct is telling me that you think I'm a d**khead, and you're secretly playing me [me playing her!  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)]. I think you're a professional con-artist, so don't insult my intelligence with your lies!"
Logged
Suzn
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 3959



« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2011, 10:49:02 AM »

  When I confronted her or other people about being painted black- "no one is going to believe YOU"

  And my personal favorite- "I'm laughin at all your F*** yous"

Maddening statements at the time. There was nothing funny about any of it.
Logged

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” ~Jacob M. Braude
uk guy
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 254


« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2011, 10:56:07 AM »

"You bring out the bad in me... .sorry"

"you act like my ex" er yeah coz u cheated on him too perhaps?

"grow up"  LOL

Logged
restoredsight
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 316


« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2011, 11:13:16 AM »

"I don't know how to have friends and you."

"You're so angry. You need time to heal."

"No, this all me, no one else is responsible." -when I asked if a third party was involved.

"I can't trust my feelings." She said this several times. I think she perceives her splitting at this point. Then, "I was so sure about this. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? I'm so selfish." She broke down unable to explain her feelings. She made several motions towards her chest and stomach. She agrees to work on things instead of suddenly moving out, then goes through a dissociative period where she seems on auto-pilot. She responds very little and gets lost driving. Her eyes, like a few times before, seem empty.

"This is really me. Please stay in my life." 5 days later she cut off all contact.

I told her I loved her. With a voice like it was being dragged out of her, scratching her throat, she asked, "WHY?" It was almost a wail.
Logged
Upnorth
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 120


« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2011, 11:21:32 AM »

"I guess I did not love you enough" (when she broke up, I had waited some weeks for her to (also) come to that decision)

"May I still have a baby with you?" (10 minutes later)

Logged
MindfulJavaJoe
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorcing
Posts: 2470


Everything is as it is meant to be.


« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2011, 11:31:47 AM »

"I feel that I am losing my best friend"

I never saw us ever being apart"

It's your fault we never talked"... .I made repeated effort to talk this through, go for counselling etc...

"You need to go for anger therapy!

"If you killed yourself the my life would be perfect"

"if you were a man you would leave the home"

"stop fighting in front of the children" ... .usually said at max volume at the peak of her rage.

"We were wonderful together"

"I want us to be friends"

"we could share the house"

"If you don't leave then you leave me no choice but to take the children with me"

"you are the best father I have ever seen, you are truly remarkable"

"please help me to relate to the children I cannot cope"

I am either all good or all bad. Classic B&W splitting.




Logged

MindfulJavaJoe
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorcing
Posts: 2470


Everything is as it is meant to be.


« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2011, 11:34:53 AM »

"I feel that I am losing my best friend"

I never saw us ever being apart"

It's your fault we never talked"... .I made repeated effort to talk this through, go for counselling etc...

"You need to go for anger therapy!

"If you killed yourself the my life would be perfect"

"if you were a man you would leave the home"

"stop fighting in front of the children" ... .said by her at max volume at the peak of her rage(not my Battle)

"We were wonderful together"

"I want us to be friends"

"we could share the house"

"If you don't leave then you leave me no choice but to take the children with me"

"you are the best father I have ever seen, you are truly remarkable"

"please help me to relate to the children I cannot cope"

I am either all good or all bad. Classic B&W splitting.


Logged

just_think
formerly "thinkpensive"
******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 908



« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2011, 11:39:15 AM »

I told her I loved her. With a voice like it was being dragged out of her, scratching her throat, she asked, "WHY?" It was almost a wail.

i had that as well. except when i told her "even though we can't have a relationship, I will always love you."

she responds coldly and sarcastically storming off with "cool" - last time she ever said a word to me Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

I responded calmly and confidently "yeah, it really is pretty cool" and smiled  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Logged
Overcomingbpd
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced after 2 years
Posts: 584



« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2011, 11:46:59 AM »

How about" Even knowing what I know now now about YOU I would marry you all over again"... .What he knows about me? Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
Logged
TheSomberlain
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 276

aka "Somber"


« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2011, 11:47:29 AM »

I told her I loved her. With a voice like it was being dragged out of her, scratching her throat, she asked, "WHY?" It was almost a wail.

i had that as well. except when i told her "even though we can't have a relationship, I will always love you."

she responds coldly and sarcastically storming off with "cool" - last time she ever said a word to me Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

I responded calmly and confidently "yeah, it really is pretty cool" and smiled  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Oh, that reminds me. Mine kept saying "I will always be yours." That always left me scratching my head because she was already banging my replacement. She said that MULTIPLE times too.
Logged

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
officer1618
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 391



« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2011, 12:43:28 PM »

Yup,

'you never wanted this'

'you always wanted a divorce'

'it's your fault I had the affair'

'you never wanted me, so you got what you want'
Logged
Strong Again
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 393


« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2011, 01:17:54 PM »

Excerpt
I responded calmly and confidently "yeah, it really is pretty cool" and smiled 

That was a cool-as-ice retort, dude  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)  
Logged
just_think
formerly "thinkpensive"
******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 908



« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2011, 01:35:18 PM »

Excerpt
I responded calmly and confidently "yeah, it really is pretty cool" and smiled  

That was a cool-as-ice retort, dude  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)  

It was easy to do because i really meant it. And i still do. I didn't know anything about BPD or any of the cheating at the time but i would still say it in a heartbeat. All I can do is give unconditional love.  If she rejects it, that's definitely not my problem. pearls before swine and all that :P

it totally infuriated her that i was always so calm.  i re-read a message the other day at the breakup where she was trying to get a rise out of me and i wrote back "i don't know why you are doing this. i see that you are trying to get me angry in hopes that i will say something upsetting back, but the fact is that i love you too much and cannot"

now that i know what was really going on, she has to be kicking herself right now. Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).





Logged
OverBoard
******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 837


« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2011, 02:05:14 PM »

-YOU never loved me.

-YOU did this to what was us.

-I NEVER lied, not once.

-So, have you done this to EVERYONE you've ever been with? Used them and then throw them away? YOU are ridiculous (major projection after I moved her out)

-Come back to what? YOU'VE got to be KIDDING ME! I only came back all the other times because I was hoping YOU changed.

-I'm moving on like you told me to and I'm never looking back. YOU treated me like crap. It's all about CONTROL with you, isn't it? If you don't have control, you have nothing.

-It's all YOUR fault this happened to us.

-YOU had this planned from the beginning, to move me out.

-Love? YOU don't know the first thing about love. Yes, I push people away, I have in the past. But what YOU did here to us? YOU are sick! See what happens when you treat someone else like you treated me!

-Yes, I cheated on you. LOOK how you treated ME!

-YOU have serious issue and need to take a long hard look at yourself.

-I never thought I could love someone again as much as I loved you and YOU destroyed it. YOU got what you wanted.

-Need you? I don't need you for anything. Nothing. Ever. I will make my own happiness (yes, guess she did. The day I moved her out, she was in bed with some strange guy from a bar that very night at the same time screwing her rich boss at her new job)

-YOU stole from me. YOU took things that were not yours, my laptop (she lost in the move to me), my leather dress jacket (she left at a bar without me), my jewelery (pawned and used the money for booze), my skirts  you didn' want me wearing without you (she never picked up from the dry cleaners and couldn't remember where she took them).

-YOU stole MY identity!

In the very few days after I moved her out and paid for her storage 3 mon. in advance, she was saying she loved me, missed me, knew we hurt one another, no one would fill the voids, but it switched back and forth so much my head was spinning. Nothing, as in the rs, was consistent. I made offers to talk, dinner, etc. to talk things through... the more I did that, the more she pushed off. I have not seen her coming on 8 months now, but via the grapevine, she is not only still screwing her rich boss, but several others to include women. Nice. Boy, did I pick the winning ticket.
Logged
GlennT
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 897



« Reply #18 on: March 06, 2011, 09:41:37 AM »

"I'm too much of a woman for you. That's what I think!"
Logged

Always remember what they do:Idealize. Devalue. Discard.
Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.~ Churchill
Strong Again
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 393


« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2011, 01:44:40 PM »

"I'm too much of a woman for you. That's what I think!"

Haha I got, "Maybe you just can't handle me!". Silly BPD.
Logged
Im done
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 552


« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2011, 01:54:36 PM »

oh oh oh, I have another one... .!

"You'll never be able to find another man like me."

(I sure as h*ll hope not!)
Logged
gWocky00
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 255


« Reply #21 on: March 06, 2011, 02:20:40 PM »

my ex was "you will always want me"  ... .

want you to burn in H*ll maybe... .

want you like a root canal... .

or want to have my eyes put out... .I could go on an on... .but I digress

You can fill in your own blank, as Im pretty sure they all say this... .
Logged
MM
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 262


« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2011, 07:58:48 PM »

"you will never see me as a friend... ."  Just as she cut me off.

Always, never, always, never... .typical BPD words.
Logged
restoredsight
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 316


« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2011, 08:58:40 PM »

"you will never see me as a friend... ."  Just as she cut me off.

Always, never, always, never... .typical BPD words.

God, that's a sobering statement. I've sort of felt that I've been completely blacked, but that statement makes me wonder just how permanent that is. I'm feeling a lot stronger than when this all started, and I'm to the point where I feel that the cost is too great, but it's made it a lot easier that I haven't had to deal with the push/pull in a while. I forget sometimes just how mercurial the situation can be.

Logged
pdoll
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 167


« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2011, 11:16:30 PM »

"No one will ever love you like I did"
Logged
Overcomingbpd
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced after 2 years
Posts: 584



« Reply #25 on: March 06, 2011, 11:29:52 PM »

One of my personal faves... .You NEVER listen to me... .after a 4 to 8 hour rage where I have been sitting there like a fool listening to his abuse and trying to defuse him
Logged
OTH
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 2307


It's not too late to make better choices


« Reply #26 on: March 06, 2011, 11:38:50 PM »

I had a really wierd one... .Said multiple times... .with a note of anger and sadness.

"You are just going to go back to living your life"

ummm ... .I hope so ... .The alternative being?

Anybody else get that one?
Logged

Mary Oliver:  Someone I loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift

TheSomberlain
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 276

aka "Somber"


« Reply #27 on: March 06, 2011, 11:51:37 PM »

I had a really wierd one... .Said multiple times... .with a note of anger and sadness.

"You are just going to go back to living your life"

ummm ... .I hope so ... .The alternative being?

Anybody else get that one?

Let me take a stab... .

She is playing the victim by saying that she was just a burden on you while in the relationship. Hence, now you can go back to having a BPD free life.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)  

Just another "woe is me" comment. I received those too.
Logged

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Overcomingbpd
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced after 2 years
Posts: 584



« Reply #28 on: March 06, 2011, 11:55:51 PM »

I had a really wierd one... .Said multiple times... .with a note of anger and sadness.

"You are just going to go back to living your life"

ummm ... .I hope so ... .The alternative being?

Anybody else get that one?

Oh yes followed by, I cant get away from me!... .well thank God I can dude.
Logged
needPeace
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 444



« Reply #29 on: March 07, 2011, 12:01:30 AM »

Please just give me one more chance. I promise this time it will be different




Logged

Stronger, Better, Smarter
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2021?

Pages: [1] 2 3  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
40days_in_desert
Ahquei3s
alphabeta
Amethyste
Angie59
ArtistGuy70
AskingWhy
assumezero
At Bay
Avanzando
Baglady
Beneck
bigredneck
Bittlecat
Boll Weevil
calmboom
Cat Familiar
Chosen
Dnmtnbkr
drained1996
Eggshellsbroken
FaintTheGoat
FaithHopeLove
FindingMe2011
Forgiveness
freespirit
GaGrl
ggGreg
Gift to Myself
gotbushels
Harri
hopeandchoices
I Am Redeemed
Imatter33
Jazzy48
jdc
jones54
Jonthan
Katrinalove
Kwamina
l8kgrl
LLgreen
Longterm
lorymac
lovenature
loyalwife
lucidone
Manifest32f
MariannaR
Meridius
Methuen
mgirl
Minttea
Mommydoc
Mutt
narcdaughter2
needPeace
NorseWoman
Notgoneyet
oceanheart
oftentimes
Omega1
once removed
Only Human
otherlife
palynne
PeacefulMom
Pedro
pest947
podsnapG
ProudDad12
pursuingJoy
Radcliff
Raul
Recycle
Resiliant
Rev
Rosheger
Sad4Her
SamwizeGamgee
Sandalwood
SBBayArea
SCM
SerendipityChild
SES
Silverhope
Skip
songbirdtwo
StillStuck
Swimmy55
Teno
townhouse
truthbeknown
turtleengine501
Ventak
vinnie77
Violet00
wavewatcher
wendydarling
WhatJustHappened?
Whichwayisup
whirlpoollife
Wicker Man
WindofChange
worn_out
WTL
zachira
zaqsert

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!