Quotations that have helped you

[Hazelnut]

Saw these on a package and liked them:

The beginning is always today-- Mary Wollstonecraft

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong-- Gandhi

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle-- Plato

[Im done]

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle-- Plato

Wow - that's one that deserves to be mulled over at length, and absorbed.

[Mutt]

"If you persistently seek validation from others, you will inadvertently invalidate your own self-worth." ~Dodinsky

[fromheeltoheal]

You are allowed to terminate toxic relationships.  You are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you.  You and allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving.  You don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself.

Success is the best revenge.

It's not your life, it's life.  Life is bigger than you.  Life isn't something that you possess, it's something that you take part in and witness.

We love life not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

[Agent_of_Chaos]

People always think that the most painful thing in life is losing the one you value.  The truth is, the most painful thing is losing  yourself in the process of valuing someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.

[hibye]

Two from Erich Fromm

“Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love.”

“Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.”

One from a guy on FB called Thomas Gates

"She's a million pieces of the love others had for her. As she destroyed each one of them she was left with a piece of their souls to glue herself back together."

[HappyNihilist]

Oh, Mutt, don't ask about quotes where a writer and English major can hear you.

The words of others have always helped me, and especially in difficult times like the devastation after my BPD relationship. I hope some of these might give comfort and help to others here.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space... .in that space is our power to choose our response. In our response, lies our growth and our freedom." -Viktor Frankl (Auschwitz survivor)

"When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness." -Eckhart Tolle

"Every one rushes elsewhere and into the future, because no one wants to face one's own inner self." -Michel de Montaigne

"At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can." -Frida Kahlo

"It's vital to remember who you really are. It's very important. It isn't a good idea to rely on other people or things to do it for you. They always get it wrong." -Terry Pratchett

"That which causes us trials shall yield us triumph: and that which make our hearts ache shall fill us with gladness. The only true happiness is to learn, to advance, and to improve: which could not happen unless we had to commence with error, ignorance, and imperfection. We must pass through the darkness, to reach the light." -Albert Pike

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." -Arthur Ashe

"The wound is the place where the light enters you." -Rumi

"I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." -Abraham Lincoln

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

"God said 'love your enemy,' and I obeyed him and loved myself." -Kahlil Gibran

"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what's left, and live it properly." -Marcus Aurelius

"Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."-Marcus Aurelius

"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats." -Voltaire

"I laugh at those who think they can damage me. They do not know who I am, they do not know what I think, they cannot even touch the things which are really mine and with which I live." -Epictetus

"You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." -Glinda the Good Witch

[myself]

"Just because you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town." -George Carlin

[Yolanda123]

A few from Socrates:

- Falling down is not a failure. Failure comes when you stay where you have Fallen.

- The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.

- To find yourself, think for yourself

[Tangy]

Thanks for this thread!

"Truly powerful people do not explain why they need respect they simply do not engage with people that do not give it to them." Sherry Argov

[Mr Hollande]

"That which disturbs your soul you must not suffer."

Goethe

“Loves are like empires: when the idea they are founded on crumbles, they, too, fade away.”

Milan Kundera

“Love is a battle," said Marie-Claude, still smiling. "And I plan to go on fighting. To the end."

Love is a battle?" said Franz. "Well, I don't feel at all like fighting." And he left.”

Milan Kundera - The Unbearable Lightness of Being

[autumnskies]

Great idea, thanks    These ones have helped me:

Don't give up. Normally it is the last key on the ring which opens the door ~ Paulo Coelho

If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies ~ Unknown

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better ~ Maya Angelou

Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness - but because you deserve peace ~ Lion King

Someone I love once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift ~ Mary Oliver

People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for ~ To Kill a Mockingbird

Not my circus, not my monkeys ~ Polish Proverb

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can ~ Arthur Ashe

And that's the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too ~ K. Hosseini

[Kennyble]

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

[Mel1968]

I have a long quotation:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master... .”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

And a short one:

I'm going to make everything around me beautiful - that will be my life

Elsie de Wolfe

[scarletviolet]

the best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically their virtues make them vulnerable;they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed- Ernest Hemingway

if someone wishes for good health, one must first asks oneself if he is ready to do away with the reasons for his illness. Only then is it possible to help him- Hyppocrates

and the poem written by a friend of mine, when i was thinking of helping my husband, ,before i realised it is not possible for me to help him unless he helps himself... .this really touches my soul on so many levels... .i really want for him to be finally found... .

GRACE

I am the wish and nothing more. This is not a window but a door.

As the light from darkness, I illuminate all that was before.

I am with you, you are with me. We are not alone but together,

You and I, the two of us.

I do not fear the sight, for it is not with my eyes that I see.

Close yours and you will find me, I will be there, you will be found.

Frozen in the desert, without water in the oceans, without air in the sky.

There's no place that is not my place, and that place,

Above, below or between , is my corner, my resting place, my home.

I have found you after all,

to stay beside you at this hour,

after all others have gone.

For others to know, they must first wish.

But if their heart is not true,

Then this journey they cannot take.

You have made yours and come to me.

By searching for me, I have found you.

May Grace befall you, so be of good heart,

For the good, if it is you, then it is yours.

​All is not lost, the day begins... .

[problemsolver]

I have a long quotation:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master... .”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

And a short one:

I'm going to make everything around me beautiful - that will be my life

Elsie de Wolfe

First quote is interesting?  Well are you trying to imply that our pwBPD was meant to be brought into our life to show us our weakness?

[Mutt]

problemsolver,

Do you have a favorite quote, poem, or proverb that you would like to share with everyone? The point of this discussion is to share pieces that we enjoyed in our healing and to share with everyone

[problemsolver]

"The bad news is; nothing lasts forever

The good news is; nothing lasts forever"


" life is 10 % what happens to you and 90% how you react to it"

[Mr Hollande]

Nietzsche said many good things and this quote fits in extremely well here.

“There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit giving any of it away to imaginary beings.”

[Sunfl0wer]

_{Thanks guys, these are great!  I copied many of them down to keep.}

Here is one I came across today and want to share:

Correction... .in looking for the one about my body... .found two more... .

Three by Nayyirah Waheed

‘no’

might make them angry

but

it will make you free.

— if no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger.

*

and i said to my body. softly. ‘i want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath. and replied ‘i have been waiting my whole life for this.’

*

If

the ocean

can calm itself,

so can you.

We

are both

salt water

mixed with

air.

*

[Sunfl0wer]

Wow, I just went back to read more of her quotes and I love them all:

“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“you

not wanting me

was

the beginning of me

wanting myself

thank you”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“I don't pay attention to the

world Ending.

It has ended for me

many Times

and began again in the morning.”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“i loved you

because

it was easier

than

loving myself.”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“Just because someone desires you, it does not mean that they value you.


Read it over.

Again.

Let those words resonate in your mind.”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“When I am afraid to speak is when I speak.

That is when it is most important.”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“it is being honest

about

my pain

that

makes me invincible.”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“where you are. is not who you are. – circumstances”

― Nayyirah Waheed, salt.

“If someone does not want me it is not the end of the world. But if I do not want me, the world is nothing but endings.”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“she asked ‘you are in love, what does love look like’ to which i replied ‘like everything i’ve ever lost come back to me.”

― Nayyirah Waheed

“there are feelings. you haven’t felt yet. give them time. they are almost here. – fresh”

― Nayyirah Waheed, salt.

[Darsha500]

Inspired by the absolute hopelessness of everything, I felt relieved, as if a great burden had been lifted off my shoulders. - Henry Miller

When you look back on a failed relationship, you often wonder how it could have gone on for so long. For months you knew it wasn't working. Why didn't you get out before it became an irrevocable disaster? The answer is simple: Because it needed to end in catastrophe. You needed to poison the well and bludgeon your heart beyond repair. You needed to exhaust all your reserves. Anything less and you'd still be holding out hope. You can always muddle along from minor disaster to minor disaster, but it takes truly heroic stamina to see things through to total catastrophe.

It's a catastrophe, but it's the one I need.

-Andrew Boyd

[Suspicious1]

When I was really heartbroken, someone pointed me in the direction of this, by Trent Shelton. Not usually my kind of thing, but goodness he's right. Helped me a lot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX1-N8Nu9Rk

[Invictus01]

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit From pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

[Mutt]

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

Laozi said,

"The world is won by those who let it go."

Fail often, and then let it go. @dailyzen

[blackbirdsong]

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

Friedrich Nietzsche

[Eyeamme]

I just got a tattoo that reads

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

― Lao Tzu

[thisworld]

Great post 

And here is my Kierkegaard selection:


“The greatest hazard of all, losing one’s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed.”


“To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one's self... .And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one's self.”

“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”


“Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.”


“The more one suffers, the more, I believe, has one a sense for the comic.”


“I choose one thing: always to have the laughter on my side.”

[Shattered-soull]

"Fall in love with someone who does the right things, not someone who says the right things"

My BPDex would say the right things to make me feel loved.  And would often do things that made me feel loved.  But she would also say and do things that no one who truly loved you would ever do to you.

"Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever.  Some people are there only long enough for you to learn the lessons you needed to learn."

She gave me the gift of a lot of lessons about love and life.  My expectations about how good things can be were changed so much for the positive... .I actually am grateful for a lot of positives.  Of course I also learned a lot of painful lessons... .Many of them about myself.

"Never chase love, affection, or attention.  If it isn't given freely then it isn't worth having"

I was so guilty of this.  In a two year relationship with a dozen breakups or near breakups I can only remember once when she actually reached out to me.

More to come later but wanted to share these.

[JaneStorm]

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.