Probably the wrong thing to do but...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

morning everyone,

so, there is a part of me that wants to contact her ex's and have a chat.

in this day of technology, it would be so easy to do.

what i hope to get out of it? call her out on her ~. hoping to hear what really happened to the past relationships hear another side of the story.

confirmation, yet again, that it's NOT me.

ugh. this blows.

thoughts? thank you.

[MakeItHappen]

morning everyone,

so, there is a part of me that wants to contact her ex's and have a chat.

in this day of technology, it would be so easy to do.

what i hope to get out of it? call her out on her ~. hoping to hear what really happened to the past relationships hear another side of the story.

confirmation, yet again, that it's NOT me.

ugh. this blows.

thoughts? thank you.

[Discarded26]

morning everyone,

so, there is a part of me that wants to contact her ex's and have a chat.

in this day of technology, it would be so easy to do.

what i hope to get out of it? call her out on her ~. hoping to hear what really happened to the past relationships hear another side of the story.

confirmation, yet again, that it's NOT me.

ugh. this blows.

thoughts? thank you.

My thought's are, as much as I'd love to do the same to my ex. The facts are, they only care about themselves, not how they made US FEEL. They live in their own little world.

You might get your own closure from it, but any contact in my case, makes me feel worse.

It's what's BEST FOR YOU.

It wasn't us, its them

[recoil]

I spoke with one of her EXs but I already knew him well enough to be comfortable doing so.  It was pretty enlightening.

I wouldn't call a stranger though, even though the urge has hit me before - even recently.

If your EX really has BPD, it wasn't you.  Know it.  Believe it in your soul.  Tell your mind that over and over again until you start believing it.

[Cumulus]

Oh... .  you all ready know its a really bad idea.  Once you know that you have been wronged, that the behaviour of the partner is purposely and with intent harmful, further proof just doesn't count. What difference if you find ten things she did wrong, or a hundred things she did wrong or a thousand things she did wrong. It is not a cumulative score that will allow you to realize that it is not you. That's a negative road to travel down and will only get you to a bad place. Been down that road.

[blecker]

Misery loves company.

But what answers will you find from another confused, tormented, and discarded soul. No answers, just company.

No, the answers lies in us. We were willing to walk to the edge of that cliff with an individual we knew was capable of pushing us. I knew it. I knew it and did it anyway. And I was pushed.

What right do I have in asking "WHY?" as I plummet to whatever end awaits me? Because of Injustice? A healthy person would have stayed well away from the edge. A healthier person would not have been on the cliff.

I don't go there no more. Justice has been served.

[MakeItHappen]

thanks for all your thoughts.

perhaps, the reason is, confirmation. that she did indeed, treat her other ex's the same way she treated me. then again, the "misery loves company" statement is very accurate. thank you.

it's only been a few days since i blocked her and i haven't heard a peep since. 

one moment at a time.

[blecker]

perhaps, the reason is, confirmation. that she did indeed, treat her other ex's the same way she treated me.

Let me confirm it for you MakeItHappen.

If she suffers from BPD and has not recieved long term, consistent, and well modeled therapy then it is simply imposssible for her to have a healthy, loving relationship with anyone.

There has been no true joy(even with you) and there never will be until she decides that she needs serious help.

[Mike_confused]

I have thought of contacting her ex's too.  I dismissed the thought.  First, I don't necessarily trust them because she may be in contact with them.  Second, I do not need negative crap - that is my uBPD wife's burden, not mine.  Let it go.