Not again

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It's been a year since I found out about the cheating... .  A secret lover, wouldn't we all love to have it all--/ today yes another secret revealed again by accident- hiw I find proof. Its madness. He has everything yet still not satified. This time prostitutes- I just want to be me. Always. Xx to you all who have/ are going through this. Its not for tge faint of heart at all.

[whereisthezen]

It's been a year since I found out about the cheating... .  A secret lover, wouldn't we all love to have it all--/ today yes another secret revealed again by accident- hiw I find proof. Its madness. He has everything yet still not satified. This time prostitutes- I just want to be me. Always. Xx to you all who have/ are going through this. Its not for tge faint of heart at all.

[crazylife]

Finding out about affairs and secret lovers and Prostitutes in so painful. Just know it is not you, it is them. Then get yourself checked for stds.

I wish I had answers, when mine was discovered, because we had lost my house, my car, our business I ended up in a psych hospital... so not worth it.

For your own piece of mind work thru this . Hugs... know you are not a lone.

[whereisthezen]

Thank you. After 3 years of holding it in, I have to have a soundboard of those that get it. Im amazed that Ive stayed on so long to see it burn down. Everyone sees me as the light he needed to set him free and love purely. But I know the truth, it will change me if I stay any longer. I have nothing left to sacrafice and MAYBE that is where I needed to get to. Withold from me yet seek prostitutes, there are morals, there are limits, his boundaries are illness or not, itretrevable without acknowledgement or counseling. I cant cover for him any longer, love or not, pain is a clear sign that Im being objectified and discarded in the process. One step too far, whatever happens I will not let myself go any longer. I am not him.

[artman.1]

Listen to me.  If there is cheating and prostitutes in your Relationship, you must protect yourself.  That is how my Sister-in-law got AIDS about 35 years ago.  She ruined her life and is medicine poor today from the high cost of daily meds to stay alive.

Art

[whereisthezen]

Art- Thanks for your reply. I am still sorting out the "two" people I am with. I told one of his oldest friends. It felt good to know someone else would  give me support right now, to just listen and comment that he has felt there is a dark place in him that is full of secrets for a long time... .  

I value your advice, I don't live in a place that offers medical or mental health services right now so as soon as I can I will have to go to them. At the same time, figure out my path/plan.

In our r/s I think he's withholding, fear of intimacy, fear I will find out about cheating, fear I will leave but most of all I think he fears everyone will soon find out and he behaves as he tells everyone else it would be improper, disgusting, horrible. he does worse that what would be considered wrong.