Date Nights ... So difficult

[arejay]

One of the recurring triggers for my GF is "date nights". It seems to cause so much trouble!

- It can explode without warning, as she decides to herself that I don't take her out often enough.

- I invited her to go to a movie, without exaggeration, at least 6 times over the course of a couple weeks. Each time the idea was shot down with various excuses. In her mind the record stands as "I wanted to go to that movie, and you never even TRIED to take me".

- I want to take her to dinner. Earlier in the week I ask "Would Friday or Saturday night work better for you?" No answer. I ask again on Friday, no affirmative answer. Same thing Saturday... .  so... .  no dinner date. The next week I find out that asking preference of a night accounts to "not planning anything".

- When we do eventually get out of the house on a date, things can turn sour at the drop of a hat. It's as if the "stress" of this long-past-due date night makes everything on a hair trigger. While she won't explode in public, she will "check out" for the night. (or, I'll hear about something that went wrong that night in the following weeks)

- And perhaps the most frustrating part for me... .  though she continually torpedoes my suggestions, ":)ate Night" is still entirely my responsibility from beginning to end. She has verbally agreed to sharing occasionally, but since I "never" take her out, it never comes around to being her turn!

That said, occasionally the ducks fall in a row and we have a successful outing!

Does anybody else encounter similar challenges in scheduling a date night? Any strategies that have been successful?

-AreJay

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[bruceli]

Again... .  Dejavu... .  BPDw has the same issues... .  bright lights, noise, people all bother her... .  but in her words... .  If they would just allow beer, wine, vodka in those places, then she would be fine.  We have never gone to a movie... .  EVER!  Hates people, but likes to, correction, LOVES to PARTY!  Again in her words, because I can drink!

[Mono No Aware]

You have it worse than me.

I just get crucified for never taking her out. Totally my fault, I am responsible for arranging babysitting... .  must not've gotten that memo.

But we have had several date nights that started with silence, progressed to cold shoulder, and ended with an episode.

[bruceli]

You have it worse than me.

I just get crucified for never taking her out. Totally my fault, I am responsible for arranging babysitting... .  must not've gotten that memo.

But we have had several date nights that started with silence, progressed to cold shoulder, and ended with an episode.

[/quote


Ditto