The BPD family?

[mrclear]

Hi,

I just wanted to know how close you were to the BPD's family and what happened after the split... .  

My exudBPDw's mother and I were never very close. I knew she had been the enabler of abuse in my ex's family (abusive, alcoholic boyfriends) and emotional abandoned her children to facilitate her own needs. I suspect she has BPD too. I just wouldn't let her near me. My ex and her had a love-hate relationship which would end in verbally abusive fights. I never understood it... .  

My ex-brother in law and I got along well, although he was the quiet type and I suspect he was still living in shock due too his terrible childhood. I got along with his wife too. They had a weird, long-distance marriage (and I mean long-distance: US-Europe!), but it seemed to work out of for them. 2 years ago I was at their 25-year wedding anniversary and sang for them (I'm a professional singer). They had tears in their eyes.

Then came the split: Since then: NOT A WORD! From her family or friends... .  No: "Sorry it didn't work out", no trying to find out my side of the story. Nothing... .  I think this is extremely weird, but I think my BPD-ex probably played a part in that, since I am pretty much LC with her (we have kids).

It's not that I necessarily have to have contact with them, but I do think it strange that people can behave like that.

Have you had similar experiences? Would be interesting to know... .  

mrclear

[atwitsend]

Knew her whole family for years before we got together--we were very close. Helped her raise her two daughters as well--was their de facto dad. After the breakup, I tried to remain somewhat in contact because I genuinely like them all. Eventually, I guess, she painted me black to them as well. It sucked... .   it hurt, but in the long run it was for the best. I feared most for the kids---didn't take a genius to know that being raised by a momster would be a bad deal and from what I know, it's been worse than anticipated.

Now, 3 years later, I'm relieved to be out of OZ forever. I'll never speak with any of them again and that's a gift from God!

AWS

[hithere]

I was not very close with her family, she was always in a major fight with one or two members at a time and I could not cross those lines or I would be raged at.  Her mom might have BPD not sure.  One of her sisters also.  Her dad did for sure.

[atwitsend]

"she was always in a major fight with one or two members at a time and I could not cross those lines or I would be raged at.  Her mom might have BPD not sure.  One of her sisters also.  Her dad did for sure."

Ha! Almost forgot those parts!