Physician visit for uBPDh

[martillo]

uBPDh who is also diabetic and active alcoholic is scheduled for Dr's appt at the end of this month for med / diabetic follow up.  He is not sleeping, anxious, depressed, but not on any meds for this.  He is not honest w his physician about how much he drinks (I know you all are just shocked by that!)  He is not very compliant w his current med schedule (I sort his meds each week and he has probably only taken about 10 days of meds for the past 6 weeks - I only fill his prescriptions and sort his meds - H is responsible for taking them out of the sorter and actually taking them.  I do not remind him.)  His state of mind right now is getting out of hand.  He just turned 50.

I would like to speak to his physician before the appt to request that physician discuss his mental health and perhaps consider putting him on meds for it, but I want him to know about the alcohol abuse.  H also has a friend who is a physician and I would like to speak w him about H's state of mind.  This is a friend who H really relies on for "support" so I want to make sure I am doing this for the right reasons and not to "protect" myself because I know H has shared a lot of our "marital problems" with this friend.

Since H tends to be non-compliant anyway, I am not sure if it will even help to get him either sleep aids, anti-anxiety or anti-depressants.  H is very anti taking any of those types of meds which might be "addictive."

How have others handled this situation?  I have a couple of days before I have to do anything.

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[arabella]

If you have serious concerns about your H's health (and you clearly do) then it is entirely appropriate to bring those concerns to his doctor. I have called my H's P twice in instances where I felt that it was warranted. I think speaking to his friend may be crossing a line though. If after the doctor's visit there is still no change, or if things get worse, then maybe consider speaking to the friend.

H's doctor really needs to know about the alcohol problem. He also needs to know if H isn't taking his medications. These things can drastically affect a treatment plan. Bear in mind that some of your H's mental health and sleep issues may also be side effects of the diabetes and the alcohol. Additionally, many medications, especially sleep aids, are extremely dangerous when combined with alcohol - so a drinking problem is something his doctor needs to be aware of.

[martillo]

Thanks, Arabella!  I was feeling a little sick to my stomach thinking about talking to his buddy, so you confirmed that it might not be a good idea at this point (and again, I have to really evaluate my motives).

I am concerned about requesting that H be prescribed any medication that might interact w alcohol, but H's meds already say ":)on't take w alcohol" more for his liver than anything else.  As I said, he is only compliant when he needs attention (Oh, I can't have sugar... . I can't eat that... . I need my meds re-filled... . I am starting an exercise program... . ) so I am a little leery of asking his physician to add anything else.  I agree that much of his lack of sleep, anxiety and depression is most likely related to alcohol. 

Did my Al-Anon meeting last night, so feeling better today all around anyway!

I will contact H's physician and let him know my concerns.  Physician is a smart man (and may already have a really good idea) and let him make the call about treatment.

[arabella]

Did my Al-Anon meeting last night, so feeling better today all around anyway!

I will contact H's physician and let him know my concerns.  Physician is a smart man (and may already have a really good idea) and let him make the call about treatment.

Good to hear that you're also remembering to take care of your own needs! 

I think you're right. Give the doctor all the info and let him decide what to do - one less thing for you to take responsibility for. I'm a huge fan of tossing the ball into the court of a professional whenever I can!

[martillo]

Thought I would give a little update!  

Well, I did not speak to my H's friend (who is a physician) and it was a wise decision - his physician buddy is now living in a camper in our back yard as his wife filed for divorce about a week after I posted this topic - haven't asked for specifics, but H did say he and his buddy decided they needed to "not tie one on" as much any more (his friend also has a "blow-start" on his vehicle as he has had at least one DWI).   In the initial aftermath, H was very fearful about our marriage, but I can see now that he is beginning to assume his friend's "divorce-ness."   I just try to keep moving forward and be a stable force for kids.

I did speak to nurse for H's own physician and shared my concerns about his anxiousness, depression, not sleeping, non-compliance and alcohol use.  :)r. H checked him out (I haven't seen labs and H won't share them w me) and added a new diabetic med, recommendation to start exercising (again) and referred him to an endocrinologist - H says because his diabetes is "not being controlled."   I would guess more because his GP has determined that he is treating someone who is never going to listen to him.  Sadly, this GP (we live in a relatively small town) had a 12 yr old daughter die of an unexpected brain aneurysm last summer, so even though their personal lives are not supposed to affect their treatment of patients, GP may not feel at peace treating someone who seems to not give a flying rat's behind about himself... .

Yep, just another day in paradise... .