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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: He deleted my #  (Read 481 times)
Findingmysong723
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 210


« on: June 02, 2013, 12:19:08 PM »

My Ex Boyfriend (undiagnosed borderline) who I had been NC for months with texted me a few days ago, but I didn't respond. He just wrote me today that if this was still my # that he would hope I wasn't that childish to ignore him etc. Then sent a new text saying he was deleting my phone number, well I guess I won't be hearing from him. Seriously, it was only a few days, I could be on vacation or not able to answer my phone... . although that is not the case. He doesn't want childish people in his life, so he's happy to do just that. Speaking of childish... . but I digress!

I admit it still feels kinda bad to see it in print, but I can't be friends with him or even acquaintances!
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TippyTwo
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: none
Posts: 53



« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2013, 01:23:56 PM »

I am doubting he deleted your number. It sounds more like an attention getting tactic and manipulative move than a reality.

Good for you for not responding to this childishness.
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Findingmysong723
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 210


« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2013, 02:51:27 PM »

Thanks TippyTwo!

It sounds mean but I sorta was waiting to see what he would do, I had a feeling I would hear from him again after the last text last week. I hadn't been in any contact with him since February and haven't seen him since January, it has helped me so much to start to move on and get out of the fog! I felt seriously crazy at the end of the relationship, I told him I can't be friends with him, I told him on the phone "that we tried to be friends the last time we broke up and it didn't work."

I also know it's a control thing, I mean even though he broke up with me, I refused to be friends so, he thinks he is taking back control by telling me he's deleting my cell phone #.

Well, whatever happens, I can't go back, I saw that mask come off and I can't go back again, that's the worst part of it, I feel he destroyed any chance of ever having any type of relationship with him... . I can't trust him! I'm not heartless though, it does make me sad, I did love the man but I have to love myself more!
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Sleep doc
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 52


« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2013, 04:28:17 PM »

"I have to love myself more"... . BINGO!  Welcome... . to... . nirvana.  NC is about YOU!  Not him... . YOU!  People who don't respect you do attention grabbing stuff like "I'm going to delete your number, I'm going to block your calls and texts, I'm going to delete or block you on Facebook... . "  - it's all manipulation for secondary gain.  You will get more and more power if you just stay fast and the weird thing is, you will just care less at the same time.
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Findingmysong723
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 210


« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2013, 07:06:48 PM »

I agree Sleep doc.

The no contact has helped me start to move on and not feel crazy anymore, it was all worth it! Unless he starts to volunteer at the Adoption Days for a local shelter( I introduced him to) we both are involved in, I won't have to see him. I actually like to see this reaction, in the sense that it validates that he has emotional issues. I mean a healthy person wouldn't get mad at an ex because they don't contact them.
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