Time out / NC, when do I contact him again?

[Mian]

Ok, another day went by with NC from my side. My SO could not stop his verbal abusive rage (over the phone) so I told him I could not handle him talking to me in that way and I needed to take a time out. He did continue sending me abusive text messages last night and early this morning. Tonight he sent me a text that he couldn't stop crying. I know he is in a bad way at the moment but I also know from past experience that if I reach out to him now, it will turn into another blame game from his side.

And now, while I'm writing this, suddenly  : It is up to me, I am the one who needed the time out and choose NC, so I decide when I am ready to talk to him again.

Staying in this relationship is tough at times, but I am learning to deal with MY feelings and MY emotions.

Gosh, this side is a real eye opener, thanks everyone for giving me the opportunity to learn and to vent my feelings.

I will extend my time out a bit longer because I need it.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[allibaba]

And now, while I'm writing this, suddenly  : It is up to me, I am the one who needed the time out and choose NC, so I decide when I am ready to talk to him again.

Staying in this relationship is tough at times, but I am learning to deal with MY feelings and MY emotions.

Gosh, this side is a real eye opener, thanks everyone for giving me the opportunity to learn and to vent my feelings.

I will extend my time out a bit longer because I need it.

Hey Hey... . it is up to you!  I never completely limit my contact when my hubby is on the fritz because it would cause fears of abandonment.  So I'll generally set some sort of time when I will return (either physically or to contact)... . even if its a little vague as to the actual timeline So if he emailed me crying - I will usually respond saying something like 'I love you very much and I will see you soon.'   It tells him that I am taking some time for myself but not disappearing (the time is for me... . not to punish him!).