Same story here.
My ex is THE most fake and lying person i ever met. I called her out numerous times on it, it never changed. Not even during the last day I saw her.
She hated any form of written conversation with me, im/Facebook/sms etc. Because she knew I could call her lies out snd prove it to her tat she lied later. With her girlfriends she chatted away no problem.
I think its just as bewildered said. Its automatic for them. Automatic to the Point of lying about even the smallest things. Everything that could lead to a honest conversation where they would need to be authentic evokes fear and automatic lying.
It makes me wonder how they even live with themselves and all the hitty things they do and then lie about
Oh wait,
Alcohol
Drugs
Self harm
I understand now