How much are her actions "BPD" and how much are "choice"?

[TakeFlight]

OK so, two lines from BPD women I have dated:

"I try to mind ___ my boyfriends"

"If we ever broke up, I feel like I would have to make you hate me" (there was no just "breaking up" to her)

I think we should all rememeber that underneath these PD, these people have generic personalities as well. They are simply magnified by the manifestation of the PD. SO, rememebr that there are good ppl in this world and there are bad ppl. Some of them are BPD, some are not. So theres a good chacne alot of us got involved with partners who less the BPD, probably would have been pretty crumby people anyways. For others, there may have been some decent personalities under all the BPD.

But at the end of the day, yes they are certaintly at times aware of when they are hurting people, and may even plan it (and state it to you!) in advance.

My thoughts... .

[Clearmind]

I get your point TakeFlight - a little B&W - Borderlines are not all bad or all good  although granted they paint us as either or... . we are however not Borderline - my ex was good and bad - that was who he was... . its tempting to want to split them because we hurt.

[Iamdizzy]

I agree with you clear mind, we should not split them black because they were not always bad but I guess we have that tendency because when it was bad it was hell.

After reading the many posts nd thinking about it, I've changed my mind to think that maybe they do know their behavior but its uncontrollable, something they can't hold in, like a full bladder I don't know. This is all a whirlwind of confusion.

[Want2know]

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