BPD Facebook behaviour

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi,

There's a number of curious things I've seen concerning FB behavior from borderlines.  It came to my mind after seeing the topic on pets.

My ex and some of her borderline friends seemed to be having common behavior which probably continues today... .

One group is constantly posting things on dogs and cats, or horses in two cases, not to harm them, all kinds of pics with how much animals are better then us humans.

This behavior overlaps completely with the second groups postings, who don't talk about animals, but where you find postings such as : a strong man can handle a strong woman, a weak men will say she has an attitude - take me as I am or watch me as I go, your choice - It's about who came and never left your side - Never force yourself into someone's life, if they know what you're really worth they will make a space for you - Spent life with whom makes you happy, not whom you have to impress - What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... .

But his is the best one : Dear past, thank you for all the lessons, dear future I'm ready

Seen this one on all their pages at one time... .

Is it something you also can relate to ?  All the drama on their FB as well ?  They are the victims of a bad world again ?

Reg

[Reg]

Hi,

There's a number of curious things I've seen concerning FB behavior from borderlines.  It came to my mind after seeing the topic on pets.

My ex and some of her borderline friends seemed to be having common behavior which probably continues today... .

One group is constantly posting things on dogs and cats, or horses in two cases, not to harm them, all kinds of pics with how much animals are better then us humans.

This behavior overlaps completely with the second groups postings, who don't talk about animals, but where you find postings such as : a strong man can handle a strong woman, a weak men will say she has an attitude - take me as I am or watch me as I go, your choice - It's about who came and never left your side - Never force yourself into someone's life, if they know what you're really worth they will make a space for you - Spent life with whom makes you happy, not whom you have to impress - What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... .

But his is the best one : Dear past, thank you for all the lessons, dear future I'm ready

Seen this one on all their pages at one time... .

Is it something you also can relate to ?  All the drama on their FB as well ?  They are the victims of a bad world again ?

Reg

[Elpis]

Huh. Interesting question you've brought up.

I have a friend with a daughter who I think may have BPD (my friend's ex H does) and you've described with that second group exactly what her FB looks like. Drama drama drama, indirect "communication" to family members (but I see her whole family seems to do that,) lots of things like you said about the empowered woman, lots and lots of pictures of her and her new BF... .

Elpis  

[Inside]

Reg,

that’s why I avoid looking at my xBPDgf’s FB page - it’s made me sick.  It allows them to present their false façade to an even larger audience.  Fake wholesomeness regarding ‘animal love’ - combined with tuff talk leads me to believe they’re working hard to hide something…  Always on the defense ... . though cherishing animals - while taunting or writing-off humans?  Seems like a self-support network for the dysfunctional, to me.

Funny, the healthiest folks I know don’t mess with Facebook!  Really, they’ve got real lives … leaving those the deepest into it with some serious problems?  I think it’s become their best opportunity to fake-out the masses.  And, people who can do relationships don’t need to threaten those who can’t. 

I’ve a FB page …cuz I got tired of friends insisting I do so.  I check it maybe ... . once a month (recently noticing they’re now advertising?), and while having a relative assist me in ‘making an annoying political friend’s stuff invisible,’ he laughed that I had more ‘friend requests than friends’ …that kinda summed up my involvement with facebook.  I also notice that when I do/ have attempted to connect with my ‘best friends’ there, it appears they check in even less than I do - so communication is glacial

Yup, it’s likely the Ultimate Borderline - Narcissist & Histrionic Playground!  And if that’s the best they can do to ‘appear normal,’ you may as well find a bench in the shade, and like most responsible adults, laugh while the kids play

[Inside]

…Too hot out …and bored, so let me play around some

“a strong man can handle a strong woman, a weak [man] will say she has an attitude”  --  A ‘strong woman’ doesn’t need ‘handled.’  And everyone has ‘an attitude,’ what’s yours?  

“take me as I am or watch me as I go, your choice”  --  Well then, Aloha ~ both hello, and goodbye!  Or, ‘so you’re messed up, and have no intention of changing?  That’s your choice, not mine.’

“It's about who came and never left your side”  -- Who left?  You talking unconditional love … the test being a tolerance of any and all behavior?  Seems nothing’s unconditional, nor should it be.

“Never force yourself into someone's life, if they know what you're really worth they will make a space for you”  --  Force?  And, equal space?  Consistent space?  Or conditional space?  Whose space, and whose conditions... . ?

“[Spend] life with whom makes you happy, not whom you have to impress”  --  Impression is in the eye of the beholder, not the impresser.  

“What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... . ”  --  Or, it kills you.

“Dear past, thank you for all the lessons, dear future I'm ready”  --  Either your slate’s clean, or scribbled with lessons – never both.

People with BPD are relationship averse – with the constant need to justify their failed attempts.  And, it’s never them – always us.  Should we simply wish them luck and warn our friends?  Or were we so mesmerized we’ll never totally let go?  Should we attempt to clean our slates – or learn from them?  The good thing, they’re no longer fooling us …as they continue their attempt to fool the world ~

[SweetCharlotte]

I'm actually still deciding whether to stay or leave my uBPDh so I'll be brief.

Facebook for pwBPD: this could be a book in itself.

Yes, I've noticed a woman that I'm pretty sure has BPD (an associate from work) posts all the time about her love of animals, how animals are better than people (they give unconditional love), etc. She posts a lot about feeling abused by various men, including her successful campaign to get one such abuser fired. She does not post with explicit hostility about her bf, about whom she gushes of his taking her to fancy restaurants and buying her gifts, etc. When O. Bin Laden was killed, she was one of those who posted the fake Martin Luther King quotation about "never being happy about the death of anyone." Give her a medal for moral superiority! Clearly her posting serves a narcissistic need or two.

As far as my uBPDh, he is careful not to post anything with dramatic emotional overtones. He is a relatively high-functioning pwBPD with a good job and several graduate degrees. He only posts positive things about our r/s, with photos of himself being a good Dad/Step-Dad to my two kids (he is not the biological father of either). It's all a part of his façade.

He is into magic in a big way, so there's lots of links on my h's FB page to Penn & Teller stuff. I have come to detest Penn Gillete because my h constantly quotes at me his arrogant positions on just about everything. Beware of men who are into magic is all I can say. In my h's case, it fits in with his "control" over reality, making the illusions seem real, and doing a disappearing act whenever he feels like it.

[Reg]

Thanks for replying, seems it is a general form of behavior as well. 

Inside, loved the way you analysed these lines LOL.  So right !

SweetCharlotte, hope your borderline is getting help, don't forget yourself in this matter.  Talking about animals, the most controversial thing my ex did, was to have her dog operated on a Monday.  Her FB was filled with that matter the whole day.  I hope everything's ok, I'm so worried, can't wait to see my dog, I miss my dog,... .   At 5 PM she went after the dog and by 6.30 PM she was gone for dinner with friends... .   till late at night.  When I confronted her with this, that it would be something I would not be able to do if I loved my dog that much, she reacted that I was jealous of her going out.   Go figure.

But I guess it's all about the drama... .

Reg

[js friend]

Hi,

There's a number of curious things I've seen concerning FB behavior from borderlines.  It came to my mind after seeing the topic on pets.

My ex and some of her borderline friends seemed to be having common behavior which probably continues today... .

One group is constantly posting things on dogs and cats, or horses in two cases, not to harm them, all kinds of pics with how much animals are better then us humans.

This behavior overlaps completely with the second groups postings, who don't talk about animals, but where you find postings such as : a strong man can handle a strong woman, a weak men will say she has an attitude - take me as I am or watch me as I go, your choice - It's about who came and never left your side - Never force yourself into someone's life, if they know what you're really worth they will make a space for you - Spent life with whom makes you happy, not whom you have to impress - What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... .

But his is the best one : Dear past, thank you for all the lessons, dear future I'm ready

Seen this one on all their pages at one time... .

Is it something you also can relate to ?  All the drama on their FB as well ?  They are the victims of a bad world again ?

Reg

Hi Reg I have to say I love the quotes ... . and im definitley not pwBPD.

I know someone who has a FB page dedicted to cats. Claims himself to be a catlover and has too many to cope with. Funnily he updates his page often with photos and captions of them playing and looking cute but the reality is that he is frequently away from home and has had to have quite a few put down over the years due to illnesses.

[Clearmind]

FB is not the real world - its steeped in fantasy thoughts. Don't believe what anyone writes on FB... .

Social media for some is compensation for the lack of connection they experience in the real world. Some lack boundary's and use FB and other social media to broadcast thoughts, feelings or anything that comes to mind.

I have one friend that posted labor photos! I have another that posts proverbs, another pictures of her 5 horses constantly, another with religious quotes.

Its very tempting to link the two however I think its helpful to be mindful that there are certain sectors of the community that will and do use social media like an old friend. Its comforting to some.

[Deleted]

Reg, if their minds are diluted their fb posts are going to be diluted as well. My ex has tons of photos of sex and cunnilingus and how much she loves it, she also does have the trite "it takes a powerful man to fix a broken woman" ridiculous posts like that. They give off this impression that they are easy and love sex and would be up for any sexual activity with just about anyone but they also want a guy who will """""fix""""" them and repair them back up to normal. My BPDex has my family (was never close to them at all) on social platforms and some deleted her because she was way too open and annoying on fb constantly posting pictures and statuses of sex, depression, and the need for love.

[dancinginthelight]

Wow, deleted!

I am surprised your ex still has fb.  Normally fb are quite strict about what kind

of pictures one can post on their website. Wonder why fb havent barred your ex.

Reg.

My ex uses at least 10 and counting various usernames on at least one social media site.

He behaves and talks like different people. 

[SweetCharlotte]

My uBPDh had a brother who killed himself nine months ago.

The brother had many of the traits of Anti-Social PD.

He asked to friend me on FB when I had just married his brother, and not knowing how much my h still feared him, I accepted.

My h unfriended me out of fear. Soon I saw for myself how scary the guy was. His photo albums were of his weapon collections! There was one for knives and one for guns. As a teen he used to threaten my h with a gun in their home.

One day he posted on his Wall about wanting a freezer big enough in which to store his estranged wife (after killing and dismembering her, I assume). I started to have nightmares about the guy, and soon unfriended him. Strangely enough, his suicide method was non-violent (overdose).

His profile is still on FB! His cover pic is the Daniel Day-Lewis character leading a mob in 'Gangs of New York.'

[Elpis]

Even I only post the stuff I want acquaintances to see about my life. Anything more personal I share with actual close friends. i'm still unwilling to show more than the reasonably happy part of me on FB, not the part of me that's been close to losing my mind over what the heck is going on in my r/s with my uBPDh... .

Elpis

[Ittookthislong]

mine(the last time i looked which was a long time ago after the break) started to post a lot of pictures of inanimate objects and using "love" and alot of those little hearts to describe it. food that was his lunch "im in love", a beer with a woman on it "the only woman in my life", another with his new bike "Love actually does exist"

i found it very strange it was something i hadnt known him to do. but i was so tempted to comment "been ther, done that, its not that rewarding being in love with something that cant love you back"

i didnt.

[Mr gaga]

Reg,

that’s why I avoid looking at my xBPDgf’s FB page - it’s made me sick.  It allows them to present their false façade to an even larger audience.  Fake wholesomeness regarding ‘animal love’ - combined with tuff talk leads me to believe they’re working hard to hide something…  Always on the defense ... . though cherishing animals - while taunting or writing-off humans?  Seems like a self-support network for the dysfunctional, to me.

Funny, the healthiest folks I know don’t mess with Facebook!  Really, they’ve got real lives … leaving those the deepest into it with some serious problems?  I think it’s become their best opportunity to fake-out the masses.  And, people who can do relationships don’t need to threaten those who can’t. 

I’ve a FB page …cuz I got tired of friends insisting I do so.  I check it maybe ... . once a month (recently noticing they’re now advertising?), and while having a relative assist me in ‘making an annoying political friend’s stuff invisible,’ he laughed that I had more ‘friend requests than friends’ …that kinda summed up my involvement with facebook.  I also notice that when I do/ have attempted to connect with my ‘best friends’ there, it appears they check in even less than I do - so communication is glacial

Yup, it’s likely the Ultimate Borderline - Narcissist & Histrionic Playground!  And if that’s the best they can do to ‘appear normal,’ you may as well find a bench in the shade, and like most responsible adults, laugh while the kids play

I totally agree

[rollercoaster24]

Hi all

My uBP ex? (not sure as he changes his mind every few days about his current relationship status with me), protests that he hates Facebook and always had, (thanks to his involvement with me and the scum I had for friends apparently!).

Mind you, he has had a page since it first started, with his profession,, (he admitted when he met me that posting his profession was a hook to see how many 'bimbos' looked him up), a passport photo for his profile pic, and no other pictures at all of his life. He never posts that I know of, but occasionally reads threads or checks out pics his few friends/family posts.

I did establish however that he had been communicating with a woman at some point during his involvement with me, but he deleted all communications from his inbox and archives, (this was when we had access to each others profiles and emails). I never brought this up, but there were several other dodgy things that happened on his Facebook, and they were way more dodgy than any of the nastiness he accused me of.

Example; a nude female sent him a link for friendship, he says he never opened it, but he did, and had a jolly good look too, and some other female that apparently knew him from years ago, tried to friend request him, but he pretended to have never heard of her.

She knew a lot about him though, where he lived, his parents etc, she was married too, and I distinctly recall him saying he had a brief affair with some married woman years ago, who lives in our city suburbs. I guess I always wondered if he still had her number and wasn't being honest about being in contact with her still.

He does follow his 20's something niece and her friends, and lives vicariously through glorifying how she lives her life, travelling constantly, free of responsibilities, getting drunk, and all the rest. Apparently how she lives, is the rulebook all young people should base their lives on.

His relationship status has always remained 'single' the whole time he has been with me, and when he is in one of his more serious NC stages with me, during a breakup he has instigated, (the norm), he goes back to Facebook and there are always new 'friend requests'. Once he gets in contact with me again, he goes back to ignoring Facebook again, but I do know he is checking it out without logging in.

I believe he uses Facebook as a medium to meet women.

As for me, I hardly go on Facebook, but mainly use it as a way of staying in touch with family/friends, and occasionally post a little, or cut and paste nice verses, or other such things.

I have a couple of male friends on there, but I am afraid to communicate with any of them for fear of being accused of having an affair

Since my life is so boring, and is all about either work, or the chaos of my relationship with BP, I am rather embarrassed about that, so quoting my crap online only serves to make it seem worse, mostly.

Anywhoo, just some thoughts...

Thanks for listening

[Tessaking]

I have had a lot of strange behaviour on fb with my uBPD ex. Shortly after we broke up he was liking all these poronographic pages. Hundreds of them every day. He made friends with loads of girls, some were I think from chat rooms and things like that. Completely random people.

After he left the posts would happen in flurries. Sometimes noting for days then out of nowhere 25 posts one after the other after the other. All seemingly 'crazy'.

He then used to go through stages of deleting photos. Some of us, some of himself, some of other people. There was no rhyme nor reason to it. But occasional you would see his photo numbers drop sometimes just 1 or 2 and then other days 60+ photos would go.

I had to eventually delete him as a friend. He retorded by blocking me and asking his friends to delete me.

One possibly coinsidential fact (I'm not sure) was when we first met he seemed keen to tell me that there was someone moonlighting as him on fb. He showed me this page and sure enough the profile picture was him, but the name was not. He said that whoever this person was had tried to make friends with a load of people from his school and claimed to have been to the same school as him.

I asked him if he had reported this page as it could be someone dangerous and he said he had done in the past but nothing was done about it. He didn't seem too bothered about acting on it where as I was totally shocked at the thought of someone moonlighting as me!

... . Was this actually a page he had set up himself under a different name? Who knows. But what I once never questioned ... . I do now.

T x

[Ittookthislong]

i gotta disagree with the pet thing. i love my dog, she is funny as hell and has helped me get over this experience, so she is on blast all over my fb. but my ex is blocked and my fb is private and only my closest pals.

i see alot of BPD pet stuff. connecting the two. admittedly im one of those wierd dog people that loves them more than people sometimes, but lets not assume thats BPD hahah least i hope not, and if it is fine, i still love my dog and wanna share her with the world

[Inside]

My uBPDgf told me she ‘deleted’ her FB page just after we’d met, apparently thinking I’d look into it (wish I had ).  It sounded as though she’d kicked an addiction.  And as soon as we (first) disconnected, and I’d started ‘my page,’ hers was back!

We never Friended each other … I always felt the unspoken fear we'd be turned off by the other’s public persona ... .  Though, as longtime friends found me, she’d comment about the women’s looks … so she was obviously checking up on me.

I’ve a question – my former wife’s (not BPD, though dysfunctionally anxious) FB photo recently ‘appeared’ at the top of my FB page when I logged on – she’s never been my FB ‘friend,’ so I’m sure she was checking out my page.  So, if I - in some round-about way – I check out my BP’s page, might my image appear to her that way... ?  That alone (her thinking I care) …has been enough for me to avoid the temptation.  I’ve a daughter who says ‘no,’ but I’m not convinced.

I have assumed that looking over her exaggerated posts and comments would likely make me ill   …though easier to keep my distance ~

[ScotisGone74]

Nothing good can honestly come from looking at your exBPD 's FB page.  At the beginning of the aftermath I did and vomitted-coming from a guy that Never vomits .   They live in a different world, one that is not reality based.  Thats how FB works, you can pretend to be whatever with whoever whenever you want, which is why it is so popular with BPD's. 

[Ittookthislong]

inside i think it might. not sure about that but when you type a name in it starts to fill in the rest and show who they think your looking for. kind of like how facebook knows what ads to put next to your page. i dont know like i said but i wouldnt if i were you

[Suzn]

Facebook has zero connection with being BPD. It is a social network that is used by most of the population in this  world. Most of the population in this world are not BPD.

[lost not dead]

I am a firm believer that every T should have access to their patients fb. The OP has quoted my exBPDw s page in the second grouping. My family and our mutual friends have grown so tired of it they have blocked her completely. I have her blocked on my news feed and have my wall locked to keep her out. I only maintain the fb relationship to know how to prepare the children for her visitation.

[hellokitty4]

I noticed that whenever my BPD friend is upset about something, she posts, make comments and "likes" so many things on FB. However when she's happy, you never see her post anything. I check FB to gauge how she's feeling instead of asking her!

[lost not dead]

Ok so now Im lmao. I just got curious after reading and replying to this post and my exs last post was the "A strong man can handle a strong woman but a weak man will make excuses".

[js friend]

Oh another story came to mind... .

A guy where I used to work  had an on off r/s with a woman who I would say was hands down Bpd or some other Pd.

I will just call her M.From all accounts "M" had had a really hard life. From a very early age "M" had given her parents most of her money to help her parents pay their  mortgage off. She had ahd to leave a well paid job that she loved because of sexual harrassement,she had no friends because they had all settled down or moved away and was now living with and caring for her aging mother who she was looking after. And oh yeh and the year before she met this guy she had lost twin girls she was expecting... . she was left devasated and that was her last ever chance to have children.

These are all the things she told him. Nothing was ever verified. The whole year with her he never met any of her friends or familly.

Anyway their r/s seemed very unpredictable by all accounts. She would always get upset over the slightest thing. He told me once she even got annoyed and cried  because he had responded to the satnav directions over her directions .

Anyway he had really tried with her and was getting nowhere over the last year. He seemed to really love her but she was always blowing hot and cold, disappearing for weeks at a time and not responding to his calls or texts and she had deleted her F/B profile.

So he decides that as "M" doesnt seem interested he would start going out again and start dating again... . and he meets someone new. He seems really happy and tells people about the new woman he has met. Within days  a "person" with no profile picture or friends contacts him on F/B asking him if he knows "M"... . So he replies that he does.

The person replies that they  know all about the r/s he has had with "M" and basically warns him off contacting her ever again.

Anyway now he is really worried about "M" safety and he calls her and she answers immediatley (bare in mind for months she hasnt returned any of his calls or texts ... . only now she answers her phone)

and he tells her about this person contacting him. He is convinced this "stalker" must be real because "he" knows too much about their r/s Days and times "he" knows it all!

He is really upset by this but isnt putting 2 and 2 together.

This is a professional guy we are talking about  here. knows his job inside out but when it comes to women I think he seemed very co-dependant.

So he contacts "M" and she says she knows who this person is because he is her "Stalker" and that he has been stalking her for years!... .

She says she is scared of what "he" is capable of and thats why she tried to break it off with this guy from work.

Anyway needless to say I know all about PD's and  thought this whole stalker thing was a bunch of *&^P and told him so.

Why hasnt she ever reported this stalker to the police if she is so scared? Why was this stalker only warning him off now when he had been around for months... . and not at the begining of their r/s, and how come he is only contacting him now when he has met someone else?

But he wasnt convinced of what I was saying so I asked him to ask someone elses opinion.

Next time we meet he says he ran the whole senario past someone else and they also thought that it was "M" reappearing but he still  wasnt convinced.

So to cut a long story short he says he wants to work on the r/s with "M" if there is still chance and agrees to meet up with her to discuss the whole stalker thing and if they still have a r/s

Another thing... . funny how this "stalkers" F/b profile disappeared once he got back intouch with "M"

[spark2]

My exBPD would make many many fake profiles and try to add me on FB. Never responding to messages asking where I met the fake person or how I might know them. Always looking for a quick add on my behalf so she can see what I am up to. Maybe she could get a few of my friends to add her fake profile first, etc... . Usually when she would try it, it would happen in patterns with multiple attempts in the same short time.

Then at one point she made a fake account and started contacting people on my friends list posing as some guy telling my friends that I was stalking her and had ripped her off for lots of money among other bizarre stories.

My friends reported that these contacts were so odd and bizarre that they all knew it was her right away. A few even responded and told the facebook user posing as a man that they thought it was her. Of course the messages stop there.

[js friend]

Yes spark2

It was soo obvious to us. We knew it was her all along but he just couldnt or wouldnt see it. Over time he just seem to be complete denial about her behaviour or blamed himself for a lot of it.

[tv3]

I stopped checking my Bpd/Npd exgf FB page a couple of months ago. To help calm the urge to check it, I tell myself to think of it not as Facebook but as Fakebook. She's far from the happy go lucky person she appears to be if you view the pictures she posts. On the contrary, she was quite angry and bitter much of the time. I also recall that she would constantly monitor FB and frequently change her profile picture, going back throughout the day to see who/how many would like and/or comment on the picture. It's like she was using it to gain even more admiration/attention. Between FB, her constant texting and her overall behavior, it was like dating a 15 year old, not someone who was 20 years older than that.

[jdcthunder14]

Facebook has zero connection with being BPD. It is a social network that is used by most of the population in this  world. Most of the population in this world are not BPD.

I agree with this... . Everyone of my facebook friends puts on the happy face, nothing ever wrong... . complete fantasy. Just my opinion but I think we all have to be careful of generalizing behaviors in BPD as if they are some sort of robotic entities.

[hendo123]

Hi everyone

I was married to someone with BPD. It all, unsurprisingly, ended acrimoniously, amid her cheating, lying about me, phoning my employer to tell lies about me,  sabotaging my car which could have caused a serious accident, and going off with someone else. I've not seen or heard from her in two and a half years and I have not missed one second of her manipulation and dysfunctional behaviour.

I am now in a new relationship and have a one year old son, and I'm really happy with my life right now. Looking back I cannot believe what I endured through my marriage. fortunately, we are now divorced.

So, last night, I go on FB (I maybe go on once or twice per week) and waiting for me is a friends request, from her, and on her profile page is pictures of her with her new boyfriend (not the guy she left me for).

A few years ago I used this website and found it a great help, so I know about recycling. But why? why? why? How strange is this?

My strategy is to completely ignore this. I've told my current partner, who is a bit anxious she might turn up (she knows my new address through hacking into my emails).

I thought she was gone for good, and then, when you least expect it, bam... .

[Mr gaga]

Stay away from facebook after a break up! It only causes more hurt. I learned my lesson after seeing her with the guy she left me for and it really tore me up. Deactivated my account and have no intentions to reactivate it ever again

[mitchell16]

I dont think facebook is a BPD thing but I do think they use it for a manipulation tool. Its a way to show the world and us they are happy. or to make us look bad or whatever they want to show. Mine used to hate facebook, used to complain about me having a facebook account, claimed I used it to contact women and bla blah blah. On one of our many break ups what the first thing she would do, open her facebook page. start posting pictures of how happy she is and making all kind of comments. yes, I would check it and yes it always got under my skin. So when we break up I had to do might best not to check hers.

[DeRetour]

Hey Reg,

Your subject line spoke to me immediately. I feel for you on this one. On the one hand, it's just FB, and like other social media, it can serve as an outlet for posting thoughts and ideas. Just the same, there's always that ambiguity of the intent of the posted content.

I'm one week out of a relationship. I'll post on that perhaps later today. But yes, I'm familiar with this behavior. My uBPD ex-GF was, is, active on Tumblr and Instagram. I've considered it, but I don't use Tumblr or Instagram. The thing that bothers me about this way of using social media is that someone can post (or re-post) something, provoke some responses, and step away and decide they were just "posting some thoughts... . after all you shouldn't take the Internet seriously."

The quotes you mentioned, I'm familiar with these kinds of quotes. I think it depends on who's posting them, of course. But from what you're describing, it sounds like she might be using them manipulatively. I'm certainly familiar with the use of quotes like this. Here are some of my ex's social media behaviors:

Instagram: She loves good food. This is something we shared. Almost every day, she'll post a photo of her meal. If she went out with her girl friends or sister, she might also post a photo of them laughing/having a good time at the restaurant. Something that really bothered me for months - if I took her out to a nice dinner, or we made something together, she'd take a photo, post it, and never include a shot of me. In the caption, it would read as though she had the dinner, with all the important pronouns ("We" went to ... . etc.) left out of the caption.

Months of tiptoeing around the subject, her blowing up about it, blaming me for treating her badly, even a 3-week breakup, and she finally agreed to start including photos of us together. She'd demean me and tell me it was shallow, but she'd do it since it was important to me. Looking back, her argument never made sense. She claimed to be private, but she'd post this stuff everyday. She'd post photos of her girl friends, but with me, her excuse was that it's "personal" - besides everyone knows about us, c'mon, etc. And if we got into an argument, she'd post a photo of "a better day" (ie., a day trip we took together) and might include in her caption that her day was really ___ty. Then, she could go to work, get all the pity from her friends/coworkers and hear all about how I made her depressed.

Tumblr: Ah. ":)eleted", what you described sounds familiar to my ex's Tumblr behavior. My ex would often re-post explicit images. They weren't personal, but they would still be provocative. To this day, I still don't know what sort of creepers this attracted. She'd claim it was just re-posting and no thought was really put into it. Whatever. Other times, things would seem great between us, and then sometime later that same night when she's home (lived with her parents), I'd discover a quote with something along the lines - I loved you. I gave you everything. or No one could save her. or Maybe someday we'll meet, when both of us is better... . somewhere, years later at a coffee shop. etc.

I know, ":)on't take the Internet seriously." But coming from her, it really kept me on edge. Was she trying to appear as though she was in distress as a way of inviting some rescuer to comfort her? Was she just posting something that she liked?

So... . with all of that in mind, i think it just depends on the person posting these things. Has your Ex had a history of using these things manipulatively? Mine swears that I'm misconstruing everything, that I "never really knew [her]." Here's how I deal with it: I just don't look at her page. But just know you aren't alone in dealing with this. Okay, hope this helps!

[Suzn]

To help calm the urge to check it, I tell myself to think of it not as Facebook but as Fakebook.

This is a good strategy. What I like to tell myself is it would be stalker behavior if I were to continually browse my ex's facebook. Something I've read many, many times said about pwBPD here. My ex is blocked so I can't call her this. We are both safe from a stalker label.